Coming Out of the Pit
by Catygirl
Summary: Juliet wakes up with a concussion and a really bad feeling about what was going to happen next. This is a story about an attack that affects Juliet and the team, focussing on how the team would react if something horrific were to happen to one of their own. Most characters from the 2018 Reboot will appear in the course of the story.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's note: So this is my first Magnum story and I thought I would just let you know a bit about me before we start. **_

_**I have never ever watched the original Magnum. I live in Scotland and to my knowledge it was never on here at any point when I was at the right age to watch it. This means my love of the show is the 2018 Reboot, which I thoroughly enjoy. I find the stories have such a variety that you are never sure what each week will give you, a cat case or a murder (or both). Not to mention the casting/chemistry between Magnum and Higgins is great fun. I have enjoyed reading other people's stories here especially the amazing quick work through October and the whump effect. In many ways I think it was that idea that encouraged this piece of work.**_

_**This story started in a dream, or maybe a nightmare. It is not pleasant at times (especially this chapter) and the rating needs to be taken seriously. It is totally the opposite of what I usually write when I have made stories for Stargate SG-1, Castle and Madam Secretary. I hope members of this forum enjoy this story. Would appreciate hearing what you think, but if you just don't like where the story is going, try not to be too critical, just stop reading. **_

_**The bulk of the story was written after I had seen season 1 but not any of 2. Unfortunately, I forgot that Abby existed and was dating Thomas (which I realised last week when season 2 aired here) so please accept that Season 1 is done, but she is not in Thomas' life. **_

Chapter 1

Juliet Higgins has been in several serious situations in her life, initially as an MI6 operative, and lately as her quiet life had been turned upside down by Magnum and his cases. She'd had to fight her way through jungles, gunmen, and almost drowning. This time, however, it felt different.

As she opened her eyes, she became aware of two things. Firstly, and quite frighteningly, she couldn't see a thing. Not a chink of light. She tried to move her head a little, to see if she could work out where she was being held, and became aware of the second thing, the arm holding her down, which was like a vice across her chest. She started to squirm, to see if she could get any leverage.

Juliet tried her most posh English accent. "Would you please let me go?" It often worked, but not this time. The arm tightened its grip.

"Why?" a voice snarled at her. "Just tell me why." The voice was familiar, the tone was not.

"Magnum?"

The arm tightened. "Of course, it's me, you stupid bitch!"

Oh, she had definitely never heard that tone, or language. Now she was mad. "Magnum, get off me!" Juliet tried to move.

"No!" Magnum pushed her further into the ground, his whole body covering her, as he continued to snarl in her ear. "Not until you tell me why. Why did you betray me, Hannah?"

Juliet immediately stopped struggling at the use of Magnum's ex-girlfriend's name, and lay still a moment. While she often took pleasure in putting Magnum down, she always knew he had a complete sense of himself and what was going on. This was not the same man. The confident, assured use of the name of someone whose death she had witnessed, told her that something was wrong, really wrong. She had no real idea how to react to his statement, so she tried for the obvious.

"Magnum, I'm not Hannah. It's me, Juliet. Higgins. Higgy. Remember?" Unfortunately, she'd tried to turn as she'd said the last word, which just made him even more angry.

Magnum pushed her so hard that her head banged off the floor with a loud crack. "Don't move. You're trying to confuse me. I know exactly who you are. I can smell you."

Well, that disturbed her. Did she really smell like his ex? So, realising that he wasn't going to release her, Juliet tried to fight against him again. "Magnum, this is ridiculous. I'm Juliet Higgins and I work for Robin at the house and..."

Magnum pushed her back down the few millimetres she'd managed to rise. "What house, Hannah? I don't know what game you're playing but you're going to tell me why you let us get captured and left here."

In a flash, it became all too clear to Juliet what was going on. Inwardly, she sighed and considered what seemed to have happened. She knew she had awoken feeling a little fuzzy, as if she'd had a good bang on the head, and suspected that Thomas might have had the same, or perhaps worse. She had no memory of being captured by the men they'd been chasing. She allowed herself another brief second to look around, tried to see anything in the gloom, and understood that in Magnum's head he was back in Afghanistan. Rick and TC had given her the cliff-notes version and, added to the information that Magnum himself had provided, she knew he'd been kept in solitary confinement. Separate from the others in a dark pit-like place. Exactly like this.

Magnum's voice cut through her musings. "I don't know how you're here but you're going to tell me where the team are and why you gave up our position to the Taliban."

She knew this situation constantly ate away at her friend and she always felt aggrieved for all the men, particularly Magnum. She decided to again go with the truth and attempted to placate him. "Magnum, I'm not Hannah, but I can answer your questions."

Her conciliatory tone did nothing to help her. "Liar!" he screamed. "You are her. You smell like her. You feel like her." He roughly grasped her chest.

Juliet was shocked and, for the first time, a ripple of fear went down her spine. "Stop, Magnum!" She again tried to wriggle free. "I know your team. I know Rick and TC!"

Again, this tactic didn't work. "I know my team! And so do you. You sent us here to die! Where are they, Hannah?"

"Magnum! You're all in Hawaii now. They're not here."

"Stop!" he screamed, then released her and jumped up.

Unfortunately for Juliet, given the dark, she never saw the boot coming towards her, but his aim was good and he got her right in the stomach. She cried out in pain and tried to stand up but Magnum kicked her again. She swore she could hear a rib fracture and she tried to protect her stomach with her arms as he continued to kick her. Just as she wondered how much more she could take, Magnum pushed her back down to the cold ground. He lay down on top of her, his hands holding her arms and his legs on her thighs.

Magnum's face was so close, Juliet could feel his breath and his spit as he shouted at her. "You're a liar, Hannah, and you betrayed us. You left us here. You signed our death warrants. So, I'm gonna punish you. Just like you punished me."

Juliet still couldn't see him properly, although her eyes were becoming used to the gloom, but at this point she decided that that was for the better. As Magnum ripped her T-shirt, pinned her to the ground and ripped off her shorts, she thought it would be better in the future if she couldn't see his face. She tried to fight him, she really did, but his hand around her neck, squeezing just a little too much, put paid to that, so she stopped.

Juliet tried to get through to him one last time and, with a voice hoarse from the treatment he had given her throat, cried out, "Thomas, it's not Hannah, it's Juliet!"

As he finished his painful punishment of her in the crudest of ways, he slapped her and screamed, "Liar!"

Juliet simply screamed.

**AN: More to come very soon. The story is written, I just need to work on the ending a little more, but there is lots to post before then. Like I said, would like to hear what you think. The situation described is shocking and continues to be the centre of the story so if you would prefer not to follow it I understand.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Thanks for the reviews and follows. Here is chapter two. The whole story deals with the attack and the rape so if you would prefer not to read then leave now. If you are still here, we go on. **

Chapter 2

When Juliet awoke the second time, it felt so much worse than the first time she'd awoken.

She was in pain like she had never felt before. Her head felt woozy, then she recalled the three smashes it had taken on the cold floor. Her neck, sore from being almost strangled, protested at the small movements she made. Her arms felt weary and she didn't dare move them at all. Right now, Magnum was nowhere near her and that was just fine. She wanted to do nothing that would bring him closer.

As she worked her way mentally down her body, she took a slightly deeper breath and realised from the pain that she had probably broken a couple of ribs. Magnum really knew how to aim his boot and his knee.

It was at that point she realised one more thing; she was naked, or at least almost. She had her bra on, and even that was askew from where Thomas had attacked her. Her body shivered and couldn't stop. He hadn't covered her.

She then realised she was in pain, inside, an intense sharp continual pain that told her that he'd harmed her. He hadn't been gentle, truly trying to punish Hannah. Higgins wasn't the type of woman to cry because a situation was tough. Some did, not for sympathy or anything, but Juliet understood that some women just couldn't hold in the emotion. It bubbles and bursts through in tears. Juliet wasn't like that but, in this situation, she was about to lose it.

Juliet had come to respect Magnum over the last few months. Oh, not all his antics, but the man, her friend, the man who had saved her life. How would she ever manage to look at him again? Suddenly, something landed on top of her. Her shorts and top.

"Can't have you dying of hypothermia. Not when I plan to have the feds arrest you." The glee with which it was spoken chilled her more than the cave. She didn't bother responding. There seemed little point.

Juliet moved and tentatively tried to use her ripped top to cover her front. It covered her but only just. She tried to put on her shorts but realised that, while her hips felt fine, her legs weren't willing to cooperate, so she stayed down and used her shorts as a small blanket. It did nothing to take away the pain and the shame, though, that she was beginning to feel.

Whilst in MI6, Juliet had had rape training, been told how to fight an assailant, how to feel, how to deal with the aftermath. However, lying on the cold, damp floor of the pit as her friend planned her continued punishment, she could only surmise that those trainers knew absolutely nothing about rape.

She could hear Thomas prowling about the space, mumbling about Rick, TC and Nuzo. He was getting more and more agitated as he worried about them and where they were and what she'd done with them. His mumblings got louder until he jumped her once again.

As she was lying under him again, the bizarrest of thoughts crossed her mind; he must have exceptional eyesight. She could barely make him out but he had her location with pinpoint accuracy.

"What did you do to them, Hannah? Where are they? Why did your friends leave you here with me?"

Magnum left no time for her to answer, punching her with each question. Just as Juliet feared he'd increase her punishment and rape her again, she heard voices faintly calling their names.

She'd never been so grateful for rescue.

Thomas also heard them and began to call out. "Rick! TC! Nuzo! I'm here. I've got her!"

Following Magnum's reply, Juliet could hear the voices getting closer and closer above them, followed by metal scraping, and then, suddenly, a shaft of light shone down into the pit.

Thomas jumped up off her and stood in the light. "Guys, here! I'm here! Quick, get me out before they come back."

From her corner, Juliet watched as Rick came down a rope and landed in the pool of light.

"Where's Higgy?"

"Hannah's over there. I've dealt with her. C'mon, they'll be back." Thomas made for the rope to climb up.

"It's okay, Thomas," Rick tried to calm his friend, whose agitated behaviour was concerning him. "We got them. Katsumoto arrested them an hour ago."

"No, we're not safe." Magnum turned from Rick and looked above, blinking in the bright sun. "TC, Nuzo, get us out of here. We need to escape." Thomas began trying to climb the rope and, surprisingly, failing.

Juliet hadn't tried to get up. Her headache was reaching a crescendo and she watched as emotions flitted over Rick's face as he realised all was not well.

"Higgy?" Rick called to her.

"I'm here," she replied quietly, expecting, but still shocked, when Thomas flew at her and smacked her face for talking.

"Thomas!" Rick screamed. "What the hell are you doing?" Rick rushed over and pulled Magnum back from Juliet. It was then that he got a closer look at her and, even in the faint light, gasped at the little he could see. It took everything within Juliet not to curl up and hide her obvious injuries.

Rick pulled Thomas back to the rope. "TC, call an ambulance!" he shouted, "Juliet's in trouble."

Magnum spun in his friend's arms and yelled at him. "Are you on her side now? After everything she's done? She's the reason we're here. She's why we were captured."

As Thomas continued to rant, with Rick unable to calm him, a ladder came down through the hole and TC quickly descended.

"Where's Nuzo?" Magnum asked as he turned away from Rick and faced TC, suddenly realising he was missing one of his team.

TC took hold of his shoulders. "Thomas, you need to calm down."

Thomas's eyes were now wild with panic. "Where is he? What has she done with him?"

Juliet decided now was the time to speak. "He thinks I'm Hannah and that this is the pit in Afghanistan and he's punishing me for hurting you all."

Thomas glared at her then turned back to his team. "Just like we planned it. I punished her like we said we would."

Rick closed his eyes, hung his head and whispered, "No, Thomas, no. Tell me you didn't."

"She deserved this!" Magnum yelled as he pointed at her. "She betrayed us," he spat, then tried to get loose from TC's grasp. "We're all stuck here because of her!"

From where she was sitting, Juliet could tell that this was going downhill fast and was beginning to feel more vulnerable, even though the other two men were still there.

Rick tried to placate his friend. "We need to get you topside, Thomas."

Thomas suddenly stopped trying to get to Juliet. "Is Nuzo up there?"

Unable to bring himself to tell him the truth, TC simply nodded and pushed Thomas up the ladder.

Magnum stopped a few rungs up and leaned back to speak to Rick, who was still on the floor. "Rick, leave her, she deserves to be here. It's the same thing they did to us."

Rick looked between his friend's face and the crumpled heap in the corner. He had to see if the damage was as bad as he feared. "I'm coming, Thomas. I'll just... uh... tell Hannah what I think of her."

He started moving towards Juliet. The fact that he'd called her Hannah had alarmed her and she began to wriggle away from him. Rick waved his arms in an attempt to calm her. "It's okay, Juliet, I know it's you." He didn't have a jacket that he could give her but he did have a small silver foil blanket from the first-aid kit in his car. He pulled it from his pocket, unfolded it, and tried to cover her whilst trying to only minimally touch her.

"I'm so sorry, Higgy. We'll sort Thomas and send the med team down when they arrive. I promise." He moved away from her, not wanting to scare her.

"Don't leave, please, don't leave me alone." Juliet didn't want to sound needy but felt incredibly vulnerable. It was irrational but what if he went above and Thomas got the hole covered again? She could die here.

Her plea was interrupted by sirens above.

Rick looked up to the light and moved away from her. "I'm gonna go get help. I promise I'll send the medics down to you." He turned to the ladder and, without looking back, asked the question he needed to ask. "Did he rape you?"

She could lie but there was little point in that. "Yes," she whispered.

Rick hung his head but still couldn't look back at her. "God, I'm so sorry." He started climbing the ladder, calling out for medical help as he went.

As Rick reached the top, Juliet could hear other voices coming towards the hole. However, what she also heard sent chills through her; Thomas, screaming for Nuzo, screaming for the desert, and unable to understand what he was seeing.

**AN: Thanks for reading, if you want to leave a review please do. I see that episode three of the new season seems to deal some more with the guys history. Can I just remind you that I wrote the story before seeing that (I haven't seen it yet actually), I won't be changing this even if it is totally wrong, hope that is ok. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: A shorter chapter today. Thanks for the reviews and follows. **

Chapter 3

Juliet watched as the medic came towards her to assess her. The female, thank God, was gentle but firm and critically assessed what had happened to her.

"What's your name, ma'am?"

"Juliet… Juliet Higgins." She wasn't going to be emotional.

"Okay, Juliet, how did you get injured?" the medic started with a general question.

Juliet took as deep a breath as she could before replying. "Well, I think I was knocked out before I got here. Since I woke up, I've been kicked several times, had my head smashed against the floor, slapped many times and he…" Here her voice broke.

"He what, Juliet?" the medic asked, knowing that for future proceedings, she couldn't put words in Juliet's mouth.

Juliet looked at her, the light of the medic's torch causing Juliet to blink quickly and shrink back from the light. "He… he… raped me." Tears unexpectedly filled her eyes and she began to weep.

"Okay, Juliet. I'm going to take care of you now and get you to hospital. We'll get a transport gurney to take you out. Now, I'm going to need to stabilise your neck." The medic reached around for a collar. "It's just a precaution in case there's been any serious damage to your spine." She very gently placed the collar around Juliet's neck, explaining exactly what she was doing in a gentle voice to try to calm Juliet down. She continued to talk quietly as she removed Rick's silver blanket and then started checking Juliet over, feeling for potential broken bones and checking for any other injuries, then inserted a drip into Juliet's arm and gave her some painkillers.

Just as the medic was finishing her assessment, another medic appeared with the gurney and some blankets, but didn't come any closer, which Juliet was thankful for. The first medic wrapped her tightly in a blue blanket, giving Juliet some needed heat.

"Now, Juliet, I can't do this next bit easily on my own. My buddy here, Chris, needs to come and help me fit both sides of the board together. He won't touch you any more than needed and I'll be here the whole time, okay?"

Juliet made a miniscule nod with her head, and then said, very quietly, "Okay."

Slowly and very gently, the two medics moved Juliet from side to side, securing the board behind her, and then fastening her tightly to the metal frame so that she wouldn't move. They carried her over to the hole then put her down. Chris went back up the ladder to coordinate the lift.

More ropes came down through the hole, along with a couple of policemen and Rick. He approached Juliet, his composure returned. "TC has gone with Thomas to the hospital. We're gonna send him to the VA hospital at the base. He needs their help more than an ordinary hospital."

Juliet nodded but couldn't say anything; she had no idea what to say.

"I can come with you, if you'd like?"

Rick looked very unsure of himself and Juliet found herself being the one to bring him some kind of comfort. "Yes, please," she whispered.

Rick took a deep breath, having been very unsure of the welcome he would get from her.

Chris called down from above, "Okay, let's get the patient up. Mark, Rick, attach the two ropes to the frame beside her head. Stephen, you stabilise it from down there."

Once the ropes were attached, Juliet found herself moving slowly towards the light. Rick had gone up before her and was waiting for her when she exited the hole. The female medic escorted Juliet and Rick to the ambulance, and Juliet was soon inside and speeding towards the hospital. Her life had been changed today. She would never be the same person again and, as Rick gently took her hand and she pulled back, she realised that she may not be staying on this beautiful island for much longer.

**AN: So both are physically out of the hole, but this is no where near the end. More soon. **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Meanwhile, in the other ambulance, TC was as close to breaking down as he'd been since they'd escaped from Afghanistan.

In the field, Thomas had always been the one in charge; he'd given the orders and the rest of the team had followed. Once in the prison camps, it had been the same; Thomas had made the decisions, he'd taken the punishments, and had directed their captors to him. If it had been bad in the beginning, it had been even worse once they'd discovered Hannah's role in their imprisonment. That day had been the worst, Thomas screaming in their cell for Hannah, his realisation that she was working for their captors and the knowledge that he'd been the one to share the intel with her, because he'd trusted her.

Now TC was really worried about what Thomas had done to Higgins in that cellar at the docks. He'd heard him talking of punishment and, like Rick, he knew how Thomas would punish Hannah. This wasn't because they'd actually done it when they'd seen her again, but because one day, when Thomas had been returned to them in an horrendous state, they'd all been angry and they'd taken their anger out on an imaginary Hannah. It had been a break from reality, in a way, but they'd been through a lot, and to all of them she was to blame. So, they'd planned how they would punish her. They'd planned to beat her, kick her and, as they became angrier, talk had turned to rape.

TC held his head in his hands. It had been one discussion, one angry, terrifying discussion, which they'd all felt awful for when they'd awoken the next day. Their hatred for Hannah had increased but not their need for punishment. TC couldn't believe that Thomas had regressed to that point in their imprisonment. He looked down at his friend, who'd been sedated, glad that he was being taken to the base. TC had contacted the commander of the base, whom they all knew, and had quickly explained what had happened without going too much detail. The infirmary was being prepared for Magnum's arrival.

They pulled up to the emergency room on the base. The medics opened the doors and TC got out once they had unloaded Magnum, the commander was there to meet them. He shook TC's hand as he got out of the vehicle and walked with him through to quickly meet the doctor who was going to work with Thomas.

"Theodore, this is Doctor Duncan. He's very good at what he does. Doctor, this is Theodore Calvin, a friend of Mr Magnum."

The doctor shook TC's hand. "Mr Calvin, I am going to assess Mr Magnum now, the report from the EMT's is that he is sedated for now. I'll need to know as much as I can about what's happened. Take a few minutes, while I work and I'll join you in my office where we can discuss the details of this incident."

TC nodded, he had called Kumu from the ambulance and had asked her to meet Juliet at the main hospital. Higgins would need someone and she might not want Rick around her, knowing they had all discussed the punishment. He had no idea how they could support her. He shook himself mentally; they'd have to take it one step at a time and follow Juliet's lead. For now, he decided that the whole lot of them needed some backup. It was time to call Robin.

Robin Masters had always said he would do anything for them. He had set them up here in Hawaii, including Juliet. He had also returned for Nuzo's funeral and had provided well for his widow and son, who had moved to one of his other estates on the mainland. He would want to know that something was going on with them.

TC walked out of the main entrance to make the call, he pulled his cell from his back pocket and punched in the number.

"TC!" Robin answered, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Not pleasure, Robin man… I need you to come to Hawaii."

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"It's Thomas… and Juliet…"

"Are they… alive?"

"Yeah, but it's bad. Thomas attacked her. He got beat up, thought he was back in the camp and thought she was Hannah. He punished her, Robin." He finished quietly.

"Oh, God! Is she okay? Does he know what he did?

"He doesn't know. Just kept screaming for Nuzo. Rick's with Juliet on the way to the hospital." TC paused before adding, "We planned this Robin, in the camp, one horrendous day. We planned this for Hannah."

"TC, I'm on my way. I'm in LA so will get the jet fired up and be with you by morning. Hang in there, man. We can be there for both of them."

"Thanks, Robin. It means a lot that you're coming."

"Hey, none of that. You know what we said. You were there for me, and I'll always be there for you guys."

"Okay, thanks. Sorry, I gotta go. Thomas' doctor wants to speak to me. See you tomorrow, Robin."

"Keep in touch, TC. I'll text you the number to call the plane if anything goes wrong."

"Great. Thanks. Bye."

TC walked back into the building where Captain Green was waiting for him. He was led into the doctor's office, where the doctor joined them.

"Now Mr Calvin, I need you to tell me all that you know about what happened." Duncan spoke, holding a note pad ready to get down all the important details.

TC sighed and tried to get his thoughts in order. "It all started yesterday. Thomas was on one of his crazy cases, you know the type, it started with a missing wallet and ended with us all getting shot at. Anyway, Thomas and Juliet were following a lead and we lost contact with them. When Rick and I couldn't reach them, we called Detective Katsumoto. He put a trace on their vehicle and we eventually found them both in a dark bunker at the docks." He stopped talking trying to make sense of it all, before he continued.

"When we got down to them, Thomas was almost hysterical, talking about us escaping from prison and trying to find Nuzo." TC looked at the doctor. "He was on our team. He died a year ago here on the island."

Dr Duncan nodded, already knowing the story.

TC continued. "Thomas was shouting about his old girlfriend, who is also dead, but he was talking about punishing her. Well, the only other person with him was our friend Juliet. I think he punished her, believing she was Hannah. Once we got him up into the daylight, he went crazy, yelling and screaming about there being no desert and asking where Nuzo was and why weren't we in the camp. He seems…"

Doctor Duncan stepped in, "He's been taken back to your time in prison by some traumatic event. I would conjecture that he was beaten or rendered unconscious in a way similar to the situation that gave him PTSD. Then in his mind he was there. Don't worry, I know about what happened. I read all your debrief files at the Commander's insistence when you all moved here. He was concerned about all of your PTSD symptoms and wanted us to be able to help you. Mr Magnum describes the pit in such great detail that his doctors found it concerning. It was the one thing that he appeared not to be able to rationalise."

"It was bad," TC added quietly. "We don't know what they all did to him, even now."

"Okay, that's a good place for me to start when I speak to him but do you have any idea of what could've been the trigger?

"Sorry, I don't know what happened between when we separated and when we found them again in the bunker."

"That's okay." The doctor hesitated briefly before asking quietly, "Mr Calvin, what do you believe he did to your friend?"

TC closed his eyes. He couldn't just throw Thomas to the lions without him being able to defend himself, so he tried to hedge his words. "Uh… well... I'm not sure… um…"

"Mr Calvin, from what you've told me, he isn't responsible for his actions and has a defence of diminished responsibility, if he requires it. However, if before we start to help him, I don't know the worst of what's happened, it will be much harder to get a good outcome."

TC relented. "Okay, I get it. Look, I really don't know what he did. I didn't see Juliet clearly and… Okay, I do know that when we were in prison, one day Thomas came out of the pit and was in a really bad way. Only it was worse as, while he'd been in there, Rick had also been beaten up. That was too much for Thomas. He tried to take the worst of it for us, figured he was responsible as it was his girlfriend who had betrayed us. Anyway, he went a bit crazy at the punishment given to Rick and started talking about the ways he'd punish Hannah if he ever saw her again. Well, we were all a bit stir crazy so we got into the discussion with… let's just say a great deal of detail that I'm ashamed to remember."

"Mr Calvin," the Commander said quietly, "TC, I know you didn't carry out any of this punishment, even when Hannah came here. There's no shame in wanting the person who betrayed you to be made to pay. But we need to know the details because it seems that the discussion you had with Magnum is the one he reverted to today."

TC stood and walked over to the window. Somehow it was easier to say the words when there was no eye contact. "We talked about doing to her what they were doing to us - beating, waterboarding, starving, humiliation, handing her over to the authorities - then somehow… we discussed each taking turns with her." He turned to look at the doctor. "We never would have done it. We were quite ashamed of ourselves the next day, apologised to each other, then never mentioned it again. Even when Hannah was here, we never discussed it. Of all the days to go back to. I can't believe he did that to Juliet. He won't be able to live with himself when he realises what he's done to her." TC took a long breath. "You see, he was falling in love with her."

**AN: So, I decided that unlike the show I wanted to bring Robin into view. I have no details at all about him, just that he was with them and their missions have made Robin millions. Picture him as you will as he will be a main character for much of the rest of the story. Thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews and the follows. Here is chapter 5**

Chapter 5

Rick was sitting in the waiting room of the emergency room when Kumu arrived to see Juliet.

"Rick, what happened? TC just said that both Thomas and Juliet were injured and that they were at different hospitals."

Rick stood up and accepted the hug Kumu was offering. "It's not good, Kumu," he mumbled into her shoulder. "Thomas woke up believing he was still in prison and he thought it was Hannah with him."

"Hannah?" Kumu stepped back, looking Rick in the eye realising that there must be more to the story. "What did he do, Rick?"

Rick hung his head. "He punished her, beat her… he raped her, Kumu."

"Oh, my God!" Kumu's hand raised to her mouth in shock as she fell back onto a plastic seat. "How is she?"

Rick sat down beside the distraught woman. "She was in a pretty bad condition when I found her, she's covered in cuts, probably a concussion, but God….he ripped her clothes Kumu…" Rick took a breath trying to get the vision of Juliet from his mind, but failing. "By the time we got to her she was retreating into her shell, understandably. The docs are looking at her now."

"Are the police involved?"

"I called Katsumoto when I got here. Juliet used the word rape with the medics. I felt it was right that she had the chance to tell her story quickly, if she wants..." His words trailed off because he didn't know what the right thing to do was.

"You did well, Rick. Where's Thomas?"

"TC took him to the base. He'll need the psychiatrists there…. He was screaming for Nuzo, the desert….He's going to be devastated when he realises he hurt her like this, well actually that he did this to any woman."

"Yes, he will, I can't quite believe it. It's not his nature to have done this."

"No…." Rick didn't elaborate. He couldn't bring himself to tell the older woman his part in this.

But Rick's clear reluctance to continue worried Kumu. "Has this happened before?" she asked slowly.

"No, God no…he would never…"

"Why would he do this then?" she murmured.

Rick shuffled in the chair. "He….wanted….he wanted to punish Hannah, like….. like…..," He trailed off and took a different tact, "The camp we were in was bad Kumu, we try to put a positive spin on it now if we talk about it but it was bad. We planned it, punishing her, one really bad day…."

"All of the punishment?" Kumu asked warily, not liking what she was hearing.

Rick put his head in his hands. "Yeah….we….I can't believe we discussed it…..we never would have….you gotta believe me….we hated ourselves after we talked."

Kumu thought for a few moments and put a hand on his shoulder before speaking. "Rick, I can't say that hearing this doesn't upset me, because it does. No woman deserves that treatment. I don't know much about your time in prison, I have barely heard any of you mention it, but I know that circumstances can change people, even just for a moment."

Rick nodded agreeing that prison did change them.

Kumu continued, "Whatever you discussed in that moment, you have to remember that you didn't do this Rick, but for some reason Thomas did. Juliet is going to need our support she doesn't have many other people on the island. She is going to be distraught about this."

Kumu sat back in the uncomfortable seat. "Only yesterday I was watching them in the garden, I thought they were getting….closer…"

"Yeah… we all did."

They sat for several minutes in silence, each lost in their concern for both their friends, until a female doctor approached them and broke into their thoughts.

"You must be Rick and Kumu. Miss Higgins said I'd find you here."

Rick immediately jumped to his feet and Kumu wasn't far behind. She stood beside Rick and quickly asked, "How is she, Doctor?"

The doctor motioned for them to sit back down and sat down next to Kumu. "She's authorised me to give you a brief rundown. Physically, she has two broken ribs, quite a serious concussion, and extensive wounds from the beatings to her head and stomach, and from being raped."

Kumu started to cry and Rick tried to comfort her.

The doctor continued. "She'll physically heal, but it's her emotional state that I'm worried about. She seems to be shutting down. I understand from her that she was once part of the intelligence community?"

"Yes, that's correct," Rick replied, "We don't know much about her time but she was a good agent."

"Perhaps too good. She's retreating. She's only discussed what happened to her with the paramedics and then briefly with me but she isn't giving much detail. She's going to need to deal with the situation. I'm concerned because she seems quite focused on getting some things from home and about when she'll be allowed to fly with a concussion."

"Fly! You mean leave?" Rick shouted.

"Yes, I believe that's what she means. Look, clearly, she means a lot to you, and I suspect that you mean a great deal to her. I can't authorise flying for at least a month, so you have a small window. Don't let her shut you out and don't believe she's fine. She isn't. She's going to do everything in her power to push her friends away because then she won't have to deal with the fact that her friend, or I'd say someone perhaps even closer, did this to her."

"How do we do that, Doctor?" Kumu asked

"That, Kumu, I'm afraid is something for which there's no right answer. Keep her safe, and try to be as normal as possible with her. She... uh... mentioned some Greek gods while she was dozing."

Kumu smiled sadly. "Zeus and Apollo. They're the Dobermans at the estate. They love her and would do anything for her."

"That makes more sense." The doctor smiled. "She was talking about them protecting her."

"Oh, they do," Rick confirmed. "She controls them with a snap of her fingers but they would attack anyone who tried to hurt her."

"Well, we'll keep her here overnight, and assess her in the morning but she is very determined to get out of here."

"She doesn't much like hospitals. She signed out AMA when we had her here before when she was shot."

"Yes, I read that in her records. Well, assuming she's able to move, she'll clearly feel safer at home with all the security and the dogs, but I don't think she should be alone."

"Uh, doc, there might be a problem. Thomas, the guy who did this, is a big part of that estate. He lives there, too."

"That will make things difficult, the memories and associations will not all be safe ones for her. However, it is her home and he won't be there for the moment, will he?"

"No." Rick agreed but the look of anguish on his face made the doctor continue.

"Look I understand from the little Juliet said that he wasn't himself when this happened, but he will have to face questions about it."

Rick nodded and began to ramble a little to explain, "Yeah, our friend TC is with him. They took him to the base. Thomas was going crazy before he left. He has PTSD at the best of times but this… It was like he was back in the prison we were kept in. He had no idea that our other teammate was dead. He had no idea who Juliet was. He thought she was the person who'd betrayed us and put us in prison." He stopped to take a breath, and then finished after considering what he had said, "I reckon that the base will keep him in for a time and then..."

The doctor put up her hand gently and stopped Rick talking, "Then, Rick, we'll see what the police say and what Juliet says. Although you may find this strange, I believe what you've told me will actually help her situation. Juliet seems to be a smart woman and able to rationalise things. She'll need to deal with this but it will perhaps help to remind her that the person who attacked her is not her friend, but someone who is sick and needs help, too."

Rick nodded at that, aware that both his friends would need help.

The doctor continued, "But I warn you, don't diminish her experience. She has the right to be angry, upset, and scared of your friend and to press charges. If he returns to you, and I'm afraid I am using 'if', because I have seen veterans destroyed by a PTSD episode like this, you need to allow Juliet to have her own opinions about what happened."

Kumu, who had quietly listened as the doctor and Rick discussed the future was simply anxious to see Juliet, spoke up. "Can we see her?"

"Yes" the doctor relaxed her stance, "I think that's the best place to start. Come on, they've moved her to a private room."

"Can one of us stay with her tonight?" Rick asked. "The last time she was in here, Thomas stayed with her. Like I said, she doesn't much like hospitals."

"We'll see what state she's in upstairs. I'm considering a light sedative but I want to see her settled first." The doctor led both of them to the elevator, then along to Juliet's room. She pushed open the door and ushered them into the dim room.

Kumu walked in first. Juliet was lying surrounded by several machines, pale apart from the nasty bruises over her face and the arm that Kumu could see. "Oh, Juliet," she whispered, causing Juliet to open her eyes and look over at the door. Tears forming in both their eyes, Kumu moved towards the bed and, although unsure of her welcome, enveloped the younger woman in her arms.

Rick felt a little uncomfortable with crying women, but took the doctors warning to heart. He wouldn't let Juliet pull away from them. He walked around the bed and sat down on the seat that was placed there. He made no attempt to touch her but smiled when she looked over at him. He'd do everything in his power to make this as right as it could possibly be but he knew it might never be the same again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, especially guest Star, I can't reply to them, but your reviews have really given me a boost with each posting. Sorry for the delay in this chapter, life has been bit chaotic. **

Chapter 6

Robin Masters wasn't someone used to being kept waiting. Well, at least not now. Ten years ago, when he'd been embedded with the team, life had been very different. He'd been given unprecedented access to the team led by Thomas Magnum. He'd been able to report on what they were doing, write articles for the newspapers, and collect materials for a book he never expected to write.

When he'd started following the team, he'd thought that the Navy had set him up, that there was no way this group of guys was as good as the stories that they told. But, over time, and a few hair-raising moments later, Robin had realised that they were very, very genuine and their stories, while he never had the full details, showed the honour, integrity and sheer heroism of the men he had come to call friends. Then, well, then they'd saved his life. He would, he knew for a fact, be dead if it hadn't been for Magnum. Thomas had saved him while putting himself in danger and had ended up in hospital. No, he owed Magnum more than he could ever hope to repay, and that was before he'd become a millionaire by embellishing the team's stories.

So, now he was that multi-millionaire, he didn't appreciate being held in his jet on the tarmac in Hawaii because he'd forgotten to bring his passport in his rush to be here for his friends. He was still in the States, for crying out loud! Fortunately, after a while, all it took was a little word to the Governor, a quick fingerprint test, and voice authorisation from CNN, of all things, for his jet to taxi to his hangar, and he was running down the steps of the plane to his waiting car.

He wasn't surprised to find Rick and TC in the back of the rental and he shook their hands as he buckled in and ordered the driver to leave. "Tell me what's happened overnight."

Rick began. "Juliet's awake. The doc says she'll heal but is worried about her emotional state. Kumu stayed with her last night and she's due to be released later today. The doctor wants her in her normal environment."

TC continued. "Thomas is in a worse state. They brought him out of the sedation briefly and he knew who I was but, as soon as we started to question his memories, he started to get agitated. His mind couldn't compute what was happening. The doc thinks he'll try and either rationalise it or, worse, refuse to accept it. If his mind insists it was Hannah there, then we might never get him back because everything that's happened since the prison can't be true, as Hannah was there and was punished. On the other hand, if he accepts that we escaped and came here and met Juliet, then he has to face the fact that he hurt her."

"What an absolute nightmare," Robin stated. He took a moment, lost in thought, then turned to the two men and asked, "So, where first? Are either of them up for visitors?"

"Juliet would like to see you," Rick started. "I don't think Thomas is up to it yet. What do you think, TC?"

"Yeah, best see Higgins first. She's shutting down a bit, according to Kumu. You're just the person to help her through it. It's what you do, isn't it?"

Robin turned to the driver and told him where to head and then sat back in the car facing his two friends. He could see their worry and anxiety, particularly Rick's, and knew he had to steer the conversation to try and calm them down. The fact that they both had PTSD, too, and used humour to cover it, was something he could work with. They had often questioned him about how close he was to Juliet but they had to understand they were never anything like that.

"Yeah I helped her. I know you don't believe it, but we were never a couple."

"Yeah, we know now," TC said. "We know about Richard and who killed him."

"Good. I'm glad she told you."

"Didn't have much of a choice," Rick said. "The bastard who killed him turned up here and tried to kill her and Thomas."

Robin shook his head. "What the hell have you guys been up to?!" Robin was incredulous. "I mean, I know I rob your pasts for my millions but you don't need to go and find more things for me write about."

TC scoffed. He could see what Robin was trying to do, he'd been trying to help Rick on the way to the airport, so he joined in. "Yeah, and I've been meaning to speak to you about that. How come Thomas gets all the good lines, and we get stuck as the sidekicks?"

Robin tried placating them, holding his hands out in front of him. "Guys, I've told you many times, the White Knight couldn't do what he does without you, just like in real life, eh?"

Rick smiled a little, catching on to the lighter conversation. This was a discussion they'd had many times, but they still liked to rile their author friend. "So, what _is_ your story with Juliet? In the last six months we've found out she was MI6 and engaged. Where do you come in?" This was a story they had never heard in their three years of all being on the island.

"Not much to tell, really. I'd come across her and Richard on several of her ops. You know the times when you decided to go on R&R and I was sent away? Well, they'd give me tips and I'd follow them up. Then Richard saved my life."

"You know, this is becoming pretty repetitive, isn't it?" Rick joked, already having been personally involved in rescuing Robin from the jaws of death.

"Yeah," Robin agreed. "It all happened about six weeks before he died. I'd made a rookie error, got caught in potential cross-fire, and suddenly Richard was there out of nowhere, saving me. Then, not to be outdone, Juliet saved both our asses. I heard he'd died and word on the street was that Juliet was going a bit, well, crazy."

"Yeah, we had a glimpse of that, too," TC agreed, remembering the night they'd caught Ian.

"After she'd tried to avenge him and got herself disavowed, she needed somewhere to hide, I suppose. But I knew she'd never have come here to rest, so I gave her a job, a bit like Thomas. Rationally, she knows I'm helping her - place to stay, some pay at the end of the month - but she's able to do her job. She does it very well and it allows her to believe that it's her helping me and not me helping her."

"And the fact that you threw Thomas at her?" TC asked the question that he, Rick and Nuzo had often wondered.

Robin looked at his friends closely. This hadn't come up in the last few years but he could tell they were on to him. "Okay, I give. Juliet needed to be encouraged out of her shell and Thomas needed a project, someone to protect once you guys were no longer in danger. It fitted. I knew they were opposites but boy did I think they could be incredible together."

"You're a closet romantic, Mr Masters," Rick said. "You should change the type of books you write. Romance instead of action."

"Yeah," Robin sighed and frowned, "And look where being a closet romantic got me." He looked at both of them and knew they were all thinking the same thing. They may be able to joke but they couldn't escape this horrendous situation.

"Let's go see, Juliet, eh?" Rick said quietly. "Then we can check with Thomas' doctor and see how he says we can help him."

"Yeah." Robin perked up a bit. "It's good to see you guys. I need to try and get out here for more than the bad events in our lives, eh?"

"Good to see you, too, man," TC agreed.

The driver headed to the main hospital and drove them there through the morning rush hour traffic. They pulled up in front of the hospital and the men made their way through to Juliet's room. On entering the room, Kumu hugged her boss and then stepped aside, allowing Robin to see Juliet propped up in the hospital bed.

"Robin…" Juliet began, looking very surprised to see him. She glared at the other men and asked Robin angrily, "Did they call you?"

"Yeah, and quite right, too!"

"I'm fine." Juliet folded her arms across her chest defensively.

"No, no you're not, but you will be. You just need to let us help you."

Suddenly, the veil of strength she had tried to show began to fall around her. She almost curled up under the covers, only that was too painful. She looked up at her old friend with tears in her eyes. "I can't go back to the nest, I just can't."

Robin took her hand, scared at the turn he was witnessing. "Juliet Higgins," he began quietly. Although the others could still hear him, this was for her. "There is not a thing that you can't do." Juliet smiled briefly as he continued. "Now, this is day one of what will be a pretty horrible process and, if you decide, in time, that you don't want to live here, that's a choice you can make, but it's not one you'll make today. Besides, what about the lads? You need to go back and see them," Robin cajoled.

"I do miss them."

"They're doing fine, Higgy," Rick stated. "I went to feed them earlier. Would have preferred you, I'm sure, but they coped with little old me."

"Thanks," Juliet said quietly, again as if retreating into a shell, then asked the question she'd wanted to ask the whole night. "How's Thomas?"

TC moved towards the head of the bed and smiled down at her. He was a little unsure about speaking about Thomas but the earnest look on her face compelled him. "He's not good, Higgy. You were right. He thought he was in Afghanistan. You were Hannah and he was punishing her. The doctors have him sedated. He went a bit crazy when the doctors brought him around last night."

Juliet nodded but was getting agitated herself. "Why did he think I was her?"

"The doctor doesn't know. There's a lot we can tell you about that time, if you want to know, but the doctor wants you to be prepared to hear it."

Juliet nodded, understanding that if she ever wanted to get back to her life, she'd have to face the truth and try to deal with it. "Maybe not right now, eh? It can wait…"

"Of course, it can, Higgy." Rick was feeling the need to actually do something to help. "Now, can we get you anything? Food, clothes... girly magazines?" he added teasingly, knowing Juliet wouldn't want those.

Juliet smiled weakly at him and then shuffled uncomfortably on the bed. "I think I need to talk to Katsumoto. He called earlier. I need to make a statement."

The other occupants in the room all looked at each other quickly. What she said had to be her decision, but they knew that what she would tell HPD had the ability to dramatically change all their lives.

It was Robin who gained control of himself quicker than anyone else. "I think that's a good idea, but wouldn't it be better to wait until tomorrow?"

"No" she responded more firmly, "I want to get it over and done with."

"Okay, if that's what you want, but you don't have to do it alone, you know. You decide what you want and we'll abide by whatever that is. All of us here or none of us. But we're only going to leave if you ask us to."

Juliet thought for a moment. "I think this will only be resolved if we all know what happened. So, I think you should all stay."

Rick and TC looked at each other, then at Robin. They took an almost simultaneous deep breath.

TC looked down at her and spoke quietly but firmly, "Whatever you need, our sister. We'll be here for you."

Juliet lay back on the bed, tears forming in her eyes. She loved how the guys all called each other brother and, in one sentence, she'd been included in that family. She knew that Katsumoto needed to hear her story but she didn't want to go through it alone. She'd been alone for so long and had now found this family. She just needed to work out if that would be forever, or just until Thomas got out of hospital. Could she see him again? Could she face him and forgive him? Or had he ruined this peace she'd found? As the tears started to track down her cheeks, she just didn't know the answers.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The tension in the hospital room continued to increase as the five occupants waited for Detective Katsumoto to arrive. They were all heeding Juliet's doctor's advice; she had the right to say what she wanted about the events and they couldn't put words in her mouth. So, the conversation, while stilted, focussed on Robin and his high-flying life on the mainland. Once Rick and TC had hit on a topic that everyone was comfortable with, they quickly ran with it.

"So, how many estates do you have now, Robin?" Rick asked.

Robin looked a little embarrassed. "Well, there's the nest, obviously, then the house in the Hamptons. Of course, the Napa Valley wine estate is one of my favourites. But there's a lovely smaller one in Montana, where the land seems to go on forever until it hits the mountains and, oh, the sunsets are amazing. That's the one that Lara chose to manage for me. She and Jake love it there."

"I'm glad they're doing well," TC said, pleased to hear that the widow and son of their former teammate, Nuzo, were getting on with their lives.

"Yes, the weather's a bit different than here, especially in winter, but they've both settled in. Jake's in school and Lara keeps an eye on things, just about as good as you, Jules." Robin smiled at his majordomo and got a small smile in return.

"When's the next adventure hitting the presses?" Rick asked. "And am I as useless in this one as I was in the last one?"

TC snorted. "It can't be as bad as that. You ended up with a broken leg after tripping over a chicken." He laughed, with the others joining in.

"Hey, buddy, you know as well as I do that in the real story it was a guerrilla fighter and I had to get through jungle undergrowth just to survive." Rick pointed at TC, then turned to Robin. "Now, that would've made an excellent scene in the book!"

Robin held his hands up. "I'm sorry!" He then laughed. "Okay, Okay, I give. I promise that this time, it'll be TC that makes all the mistakes."

"Yes!" Rick fist punched towards the ceiling.

Rick was performing a sort of victory dance and all the others were smiling at him, when Katsumoto opened the door. It didn't go unnoticed by him that the atmosphere completely changed when the group realised that he was there.

"Good morning, Juliet," Katsumoto said gently, nodding a greeting to the others and looking questioningly at Robin.

"Hi, Katsumoto," Juliet answered quietly, as the guys added their own greetings.

"Your message said you were ready to make a statement?"

"Yes. Please come in."

Katsumoto was a little put off when, instead of leaving the room, the others moved from the head of the bed but then sat down at the other end of the small private room.

Noticing Katsumoto's reaction to the others staying, Juliet cleared her throat. "Detective, I'd like everyone to stay. The man you don't know is Robin Masters, the owner of the estate."

Robin held out his hand. "Good morning, Detective. I've heard a lot about you."

Gordon replied, "Well, if it's from Magnum, I wouldn't believe most of what you've heard. We've often been on opposite sides. He's always disobeying the rules."

Robin pulled back a bit. "Hmmm, possibly, but he only ever does it for someone else's benefit."

A really awkward silence ensued until TC cleared his throat. "So, Higgy wants us to stay. You okay about that?"

"Yes, as long as you don't speak for her. I need to know what she wants to report." Katsumoto got out his notebook and sat down on the chair close to the head of the bed so he wouldn't intimidate her.

Juliet sat up a bit, wincing and holding her ribs as pain ripped across her stomach.

Katsumoto waited for Juliet to get as comfortable as she could under the circumstances before beginning. "Juliet, this isn't going to be an easy interview. Given what you told paramedics and the doctor, which has been relayed to me, I understand we're dealing with torture, beating and rape. Is that correct?"

The detective was blunt and it made Juliet a little uncomfortable. She began worrying the covers under her hand as she spoke. "Detective, if it's alright with you, I'd prefer to simply give a statement, then we can discuss those particulars at the end."

The detective looked at her and tried to smile. "Okay." He backed down a little, he did need to know what charges he was aiming at, but he'd had training, too, and knew that in this situation the victim leads the discussion. He nodded for her to begin.

Juliet began strongly, "I don't have any memory of being captured. We'd been chasing a lead in Magnum's case and I found myself waking up in that dark cellar." Juliet fixed Katsumoto with her gaze. "Magnum… Magnum wasn't the man I've known for two years. He wasn't lucid. He was prowling, angry, violent, and aiming to punish someone whom he believed had betrayed him."

There was a stunned silence in the room. None of them had believed she'd report it this way.

Juliet squirmed a little at their stares but then continued to recount her ordeal, but now a little more uncertainly than before as she got to the most difficult part. "Magnum was holding me down. He was demanding to know why Hannah had allowed them to be captured and... oh, can I talk about this?" She looked worriedly to TC and Rick. "Was your mission not top secret? Perhaps I shouldn't…"

Rick, after a quick silent communication with TC, moved towards her and took her hand. "Higgy, I don't care. You tell it like it was to Katsumoto. He can decide how to write it in his report. You're not going to get in trouble for telling this story."

Juliet nodded as Rick sat down beside her, then continued, getting more and more agitated as she spoke. "Magnum asked me 'why' several times and, when I couldn't give him the answer he wanted, he beat me, smashed my head on the floor and kicked me in the stomach and back." Now obviously very upset, she paused for a moment to compose herself. Looking around at all the concerned faces around her, showing her total support, she calmed down and was able to continue.

"Magnum had no idea who I was. He didn't recognise my name or even respond to Robin's name, whom he knew at that time. His full focus was on where his team were and why Hannah had betrayed them. He was getting angrier and angrier and then I tried to get up. I think… he, um… he…"

Rick tried to squeeze Juliet's hand but she pulled it away. She pulled her knees protectively up to her chest, totally ignoring the pain, and wrapped her arms around them as she almost curled up into a ball. The others could see the pain this action was causing her but didn't intervene. Neither she nor the detective would appreciate it.

Juliet made sure she didn't make eye contact with any of them as she continued. "He ripped my shirt and touched me… harshly… He meant to punish her." Then, as if she had disengaged from the memory, she began rationalising it, and her voice lost its emotion. "This was a woman he'd been intimate with, whom he'd planned to marry. Her betrayal caused his anger and he needed to make her understand."

Juliet zoned out a little and Rick looked over at TC and Robin, trying to decide if they should stop the interview or not. However, before they could say anything, Juliet continued, in a quiet, unemotional voice, further distancing herself from the memory. "He tore my shorts and my panties. The stone floor was cold. I couldn't see his face but it was close. He used his arms and his legs to pin me down... I tried… I tried… but he was… stronger... NO!" she suddenly shouted as her head shot up and she stared unseeingly at the wall. "That shouldn't have been the case. I should've been able to remove him."

The others were stunned. It was as if Juliet had gone into some kind of trance.

Kumu moved to the head of the bed and gently touched Juliet's head, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Sweetheart, Thomas is a trained Navy Seal. He'd injured you. I know you can take him in a fight, but not this time. This happened but it wasn't your fault."

Juliet tried to fight the tears threatening to escape but it was useless, so she let them silently fall as Kumu enveloped her in a tight hug.

"We can stop for now, if you want?" Katsumoto offered.

Juliet seemingly snapped out of her memories and back to the room. "No, thank you, Detective. I'd like to say this, at least this once, please."

"Okay, but I'm gonna move over there. I think you need Kumu more than me here."

"Thank you," Juliet replied and then cleared her throat. She accepted a tissue from Kumu, who was now sitting beside her, keeping a hold of her hand.

"I couldn't stop him. He was… aroused… I suppose by the adrenalin and the chance of revenge, so he was… ready. I… I wasn't prepared and he... he hurt me… The doctor says they'll have to further investigate. He was brutal. I screamed, I kept on saying no, but he continued and he… finished inside me." Juliet wiped her eyes to remove the continuing tears. "He was still angry. He punched me and I hit my head hard and he knocked me out again."

"Jules, my God," Robin whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Juliet continued ignoring her friend's concern. "When I woke, he was significantly more agitated than before. He began talking about the Fed's coming to get Hannah and then her punishment would be complete. He was about to start all over again when we heard Rick and TC calling for us. Thomas answered and Rick came down a rope and found us."

Katsumoto put his notebook down. Given the report he'd had from the medics, he'd expected this sort of account, but it didn't make it easier to hear. "Juliet, I'm sorry but there's no easy way to ask this. We have your statement, we have your medical records, including the rape kit, but what do you want to do about it?"

Juliet closed her eyes. She'd been going back and forth on this all night. Did she want to report Thomas? Did she want him punished for what had happened in the cellar, for what he'd done to her? She looked at all her… no, _their_ friends. They were completely supportive of whatever decision she made about Thomas. They'd back her in this if she asked, or even if she didn't ask.

But she couldn't do it.

She straightened herself on the bed and looked at Katsumoto. "Detective, the man in the cellar was not the man I've grown to know. If he comes back to us, the fact that he hurt me this way will be devastating to him. The man who was in the cellar was punishing his girlfriend for selling his team's location to the enemy. That man was not attacking me, and the one I care about wasn't there. I don't want to press charges."

There was a collective sigh of approval from the others but it turned to concern to ensure she knew what she was doing.

TC spoke up first. "Higgy, we know you care about Thomas, but he did do this. You can ask for him to be punished."

"I know." Juliet's face showed utter devastation. "I don't know if I can face him. I don't know if I can continue living at the estate, knowing how close he is. But I do know that this is the right decision."

TC and Robin nodded at her statement and Rick reached over and squeezed her hand again.

Katsumoto nodded, putting his notebook away. "Okay, I'll let my superiors know what your decision is." He'd expected this outcome but could see it wouldn't be an easy option. She had a long way to go to deal with this. He pulled a card out of his wallet. "Juliet, this is the number for the rape counselling service run by HPD. Anytime, anywhere. They have your name but, should you decide to ring them, no record of any call you made would be kept. They're good. Call them and talk to them if you need to."

Juliet smiled weakly. "Thank you, but I have my friends to talk to if I need to."

"You bet," Rick spoke up. "We're Ohana. You can count on us."

Juliet nodded. "Thanks. And we're going to get Thomas back, even if… I…"

"One day at a time, Jules," Robin said, "We're here for you, and we _will _get him back. That's what families do."


	8. Chapter 8

**The story now turns to Thomas who is still sedated at the base hospital. We will return to Juliet shortly. Thanks to those who are still reading, following and reviewing.**

Chapter 8

Captain Greene had encountered a variety of situations but this one with Magnum was causing him concern, really concern. The base doctor had tried to bring Magnum around from sedation four times, and each time his blood pressure and pulse had spiked dangerously when they tried to get him to remember the last 24 hours. The doctor was running out of ideas of how to do this slowly and was beginning to feel that Magnum just needed to be woken up and faced with the truth.

There was a knock on his office door.

"Come."

He was unsurprised to see Calvin, Wright and Robin Masters enter.

"Gentlemen, have a seat. Good to see you, Robin." Greene stood up and extended his hand to the man who had been under his command for several years in his capacity as a journalist.

TC spoke first, anxious to get information. "What's the news on Thomas?"

Greene sat back down behind his desk and on noticing that the other men had not sat down he gestured to the seats in front of the desk before replying. "Please, take a seat." He looked at TC once they had all sat down. "Not good, Calvin. The doctor's concerned about his mental state as he seems to be fighting coming back to us."

Rick's face showed his concern. "So, what's the doc's plan?"

"Well, we discussed earlier that we believe he's just going to have to face it. Somewhere in his mind, he realises what he did and is trying to fight it. The doctor doesn't believe that leaving it for longer would be of any benefit. He's not going to snap back out of this on his own. The doctor believes he may need to be forced to accept reality."

The three men looked at each other, then Robin spoke for all three. "How can we help?"

Greene smiled weakly. "Do what you always did. I read all your files when you came out of Bagram. I know about the nightmares, about the PTSD. I also know that individually you all credited each other as the reason you got through them and can cope. I don't know what you do to help each other, but that's what you need to do."

TC and Rick looked at each other. Rick nodded at TC, who then turned to Captain Greene and explained. "Okay, well, the nightmares can take different forms. Sometimes we can shock each other out of them by putting the light on, discussing our lives now, and remembering we're not there, that sort of thing. But with Thomas, he's always needed that done gently."

Rick continued. "One time, it was so bad that we had to talk him out, talk him through our escape, our time in the base and the press conference, right up to when we came here. He was in a really bad way."

Robin turned to Rick. "That was why you asked me to get him somewhere safe to live, right?"

"Yeah," replied Rick, "And why we told you to tell Juliet that she had to be nice to him. Didn't work, mind you, but actually fighting with her seemed to bring him around more."

Captain Greene nodded. "What do you need from me to make this happen?"

TC began. "We need to join him in the pit, make his room as near to that as we can. Cold at night, warm during the day. It needs to be smelly. And we'll all need fatigues, including Thomas. The next time he wakes up, he sees us and not a doctor. He'll need to be on the floor, and it would be best if it's dark."

"Done. The doctor wants to start bringing him out of the sedation this afternoon." He reached for the phone. "Doctor Duncan, Greene here. I'm coming over with some of Magnum's friends. We have a plan." He put the phone down and stood up. "Right, gentlemen, let's go and see if we can bring Mr Magnum back to us."

The four sombre men walked out of the Captain's room to get uniforms from the laundry – the dirtier the better. Once dressed, they blackened their faces and grabbed some equipment that looked like what they'd had in the camp, and made their way to the infirmary.

Convincing the doctor wasn't an easy matter but, once he heard their reasoning, he allowed them to proceed. The nurses, on the other hand, reacted badly to the decision of dressing their patient in dirty fatigues and removing the bed, his monitoring equipment, and anything else designed to help Magnum's recovery. Until, in the middle of all the moving, Rick finally lost it with them.

"I don't want my friend who existed yesterday back. I need the one back who saved my life, and this is going to do that. So shut the fuck up and get out!"

The head nurse looked aghast at his tone and language and looked to the Captain.

"Do as he says," Greene confirmed, then turned to Rick. "But Wright, my officers should be treated with respect. You're a Marine. Don't disrespect the uniform."

Rick looked up at Greene from where he'd dropped to the floor. "Sorry, Sir… Ma'am… All this is bringing back some really bad memories."

Doctor Duncan turned towards him at that comment. "Are you sure you're up for this?"

Rick sighed. "Doc, I get that you read our files, but we lived it, we fought day and night to survive, and I ain't leaving Thomas there. So, if it means I have to live through some of my demons, it'll be worth it to get him back."

The doctor nodded. "Okay, let's get all this equipment out. I'm going to give him a drug that will slowly bring him around, but don't worry if takes an hour or so. Captain, I suggest we get some boards up at the windows. Let a few chinks of light in but not much. He needs to see his friends but not question his surroundings. We have no idea how long this could take and I'd prefer you to not be without water and food. Did you get either in the camp?"

TC shrugged. "Water, yes, usually in a metal can from a hole in the wall." He looked around. "Maybe a hose through the window in the door would work. They gave us some food, of course they did, but I don't think even the mess could come up with something that disgusting. We used to say it looked like baked beans so, if things go on longer than today, maybe some of that on a metal plate, bent fork… and we'll need a bucket."

"Oh, god. Do we have to?" Rick moaned.

"If we're here long enough, he'll wonder why it isn't there if we don't have one."

Captain Greene grimaced at the sanitary implications "I'll go get one, then you can get settled. I hope this works. You have 6 hours from when he wakes to see if it's making a difference to how he reacts and his memories, then the rest of the next 24 hours to make real progress. If I see none, I'm afraid I'll have to pull you."

TC looked at Rick and nodded. "Captain, when they board up the windows, get them to remove the glass. We escaped through a small hole like that and it might help to get him back if we can walk him through that process."

"Very well. Good luck."

The doctor and nurses placed Magnum on the floor, and administered the final medicine to try and revive him. TC and Rick took up natural positions beside him with Thomas' head on TC's lap. Robin moved around the room, getting out all the props they had brought. He worked with Greene to set up the water and 'toilet'. He finally sat down as they heard the glass panels of the windows being removed and then saw the boards being put up, blocking the light. The small window in the door had its glass removed and was also covered.

"Here goes nothing," Robin murmured.

TC began to slowly talk to Thomas. "Thomas, Thomas, you need to wake up now… We're here… It's okay… wake up."

Thomas moved slightly on the floor but didn't wake up, so the men took it in turns to speak to him, reminding him who they were and that they were with him. After around 30 minutes, Thomas began to move more and his eyes fluttered open.

"TC! Aagghhh." He held his head. "What happened?!" Thomas sat up quickly, looking through the gloom. "Rick!"

"Relax, brother, we got you." Rick moved closer and TC took hold of Thomas' shoulders.

Thomas moaned and tried to sit up. "Solitary must have been crap this time. My head feels like a grenade's gone off." He lay back down and seemed to fall asleep.

The others looked at each other, their eyes adjusting to the dim light. Step one, check. Thomas was awake and not having a PTSD attack. Now they'd just have to hope they could get through to him when he woke up again. They each tried to get as comfortable as they could, not knowing how long they'd have to wait until Thomas stirred again.

An hour or so later, Thomas slowly came around again in the dark cellar. He groaned. Hadn't he just gotten out of here? He'd punished Hannah and then escaped. Damn, they must have caught him again. Where were his team? He began to roll over, desperate to find them. His whole body was sore, with deep aches everywhere. He'd had enough of this place.

As he turned over, he came face to face with TC lying beside him and immediately calmed down a little. At least this time he knew where his friends were. "TC, wake up. What happened?"

Rick, who had stayed awake on watch, replied. "It's okay, Thomas. You're okay now."

Thomas turned to look at him and squinted. "God, Rick, my head's a mess. Didn't we climb out of here?"

"You mean the ladder?" Rick asked, trying to see exactly what Thomas remembered.

"Yeah." Thomas looked around. "Wait, you didn't lose her, did you?"

"Who?" Rick asked quietly.

"Hannah! She was just here."

This could be a turning point. Should they agree with Thomas' version of events, or contradict him?

From beside Rick, TC squeezed Rick's wrist, letting him know that he was faking sleep to see where the conversation would go. Before starting their sleeping routine several hours earlier, they'd discussed just this situation and had decided that it would be best to go with the truth. They weren't in Afghanistan, they weren't being held captive, and Hannah hadn't been captured with them. And Thomas needed to remember that.

"Hannah's not here, man."

Thomas glared at him. "She was. I punished her. She was here!"

TC decided to join in, letting Thomas know he was awake. "Thomas, man, we're right here but Hannah's not. Settle down, brother."

"Did I dream it? We talked about how to punish her and then she was there."

"Hannah was never with us here, but… we saw her just last month." Rick tried to move Thomas' memories forward.

"No! She was here. I punished her. I know I did!" Thomas tried to get up but, given his health and the ease with which he could discover their deception, TC didn't think that it would be good if he discovered their deception like that, so grabbed his arm to stop him rising.

As his eyes swept the area wildly, Thomas spotted a person-shaped lump in the corner. "Nuzo?" He lunged out of TC's grasp, aiming for the person under the blanket but stopped, dumbfounded, when it wasn't Nuzo he saw sitting up.

"No, brother, not Nuzo. Robin."

"Robin? Why are you here? Wait, what's going on? This isn't right." Thomas started to get anxious.

TC carefully grabbed Thomas again from behind and pulled him back. He sat, holding Thomas around the waist, rocking them both. "Thomas, I need you to focus. Let the memories come. We're not in the camp."

Magnum started hyperventilating and Rick positioned himself in front of him, forcing him to focus on his face. "Brother, you need to come back to us. Where are we, Thomas? You, me, TC, Robin. Where are we?"

"The house… nest…" Thomas mumbled.

"That's it, man. Focus on the house. Tell me about it." TC continued to gently rock Thomas, braced for any eventuality as Thomas' memories slowly returned.

"Beach… golf… cars… wrecked his Ferrari."

"You did, too!" Robin exclaimed. "Not sure I ever forgave you, but it was in a good cause."

"NUZO!" Thomas jerked and squirmed in TC's arms, remembering exactly why he'd destroyed Robin's car.

"Focus, Thomas." Rick grabbed Thomas' chin, forcing him to make eye contact. "Tell me, what happened to Nuzo?"

Thomas was now sobbing, the memory coming back. "Dead… found him... dead… my fault."

"NO!" Rick exclaimed. "None of this was your fault."

"It was! She betrayed me. She killed him."

TC tightened his grip. "No man. Not your fault. Hannah betrayed us, not you."

"I punished her. I did it for you. I punished her…"

TC caught Rick's eye. They'd known this when they'd talked to Higgins, but it was now clear they were partly to blame for what had happened the day before.

Thomas sobbed himself into a disturbed sleep, safely cradled in TC's arms, leaving the other three wondering what to do next. He'd clearly remembered the house and Nuzo's death, although not mentioning Juliet or the dogs unnerved Rick.

Rick looked at Thomas and quietly said, "He didn't mention her."

"I know," Robin responded, equally quietly. "I can't decide whether that's good or bad. Probably bad. Might mean he's shutting out her memory altogether."

"He remembered that Nuzo was killed and that's progress," TC said. He looked down at his friend, who was starting to work himself up into a state in his sleep. "Now let's see what form the nightmares take. He might need to be asleep to remember this."


	9. Chapter 9

**Here is chapter 9. Star, I hope you cope with this one, thanks for continuing to leave a review, I really enjoy hearing from you. And to anyone else reading along, thanks for sticking with it. We are still on the base with Thomas and the boys trying to pull Thomas back to the present.**

Chapter 9

"HIGGINS!" Thomas' strangled cry reverberated around the room, waking Rick and Robin from the light doze they'd fallen into. The only person not to wake up was Thomas himself.

Rick made his way over to TC, who'd remained awake next to Magnum so he could keep an eye on him while he slept. Magnum was mumbling under his breath and still moving restlessly in his sleep.

Speaking quietly so as not to awaken his sleeping friend, Rick said, "At least his subconscious mind remembers her."

Robin surmised, "It sounded like she was in danger rather than that he was the one causing her danger."

TC nodded in agreement. "Well, even if all he's remembering is her in danger, it's better than nothing. Given all that's happened to them in the last couple of months, I'd guess it would be the memory of seeing her getting shot and falling off your yacht that caused that particular cry."

"Yeah, that would do it," Robin agreed.

Thomas started kicking out, trying to free himself from the hold TC now had on him. "Let her go!" he yelled out and then suddenly woke up.

"Easy, brother," TC said, trying to calm him down.

Thomas sat up and looked around the room, taking in all the people he could see. "Where is she?" he asked, panicked.

Feeling like he was having some kind of Groundhog Day experience, Rick asked the obvious question. "Who?"

Thomas turned on him, almost violently. "Higgins! Where is she?"

All three looked at each other. They hadn't really expected Thomas to jump from capture to Hawaii so quickly.

Robin decided to go with the truth…ish. "She's safe. She'll be at the estate soon."

Thomas seemed to shake his head, as if to clear it. "But where are we?" He looked around. "This isn't the camp?" he asked. "What the hell happened? I feel like I've been through a round with the Navy boxing champion."

Rick and TC both cleared their throats simultaneously, causing Thomas to get suspicious. "What is it?"

Rick took the lead. "What do you remember?"

Thomas rubbed his hand down his face and tried to focus his mind. "We were on a case, chasing down a couple of guys. We were at the docks… Did they get us? Did she get hurt?"

"Juliet's going to be fine," Robin stated.

Thomas spun around on the floor again. "Guys, why are the windows all blocked?"

TC decided to continue with the truth. "You were injured and got stuck in the past a bit. We needed to get you out gently."

Thomas nodded. "So, we're in the hospital?" He slowly got up and started to move around.

"Yeah," TC confirmed, then also stood up, encouraging the others to do so, too. "We tried to make it like Afghanistan…"

"Did I believe I was there?" Thomas interrupted. "I don't remember that at all, which is strange. I usually remember my episodes."

"You had a bad one," Rick said succinctly. Thomas may not remember and may never remember but they couldn't shirk away from the fact that things weren't ever going to be the same again.

Thomas looked down at the clothes he was wearing. "Why am I dressed like this?"

"We're on the base with Captain Greene," TC replied. "You weren't coming out of it so we tried to make it like it was when we were in Afghanistan."

"Well, thanks guys. You brought me out of it again. I appreciate it." Thomas reached over and shook their hands, unaware of the worried looks passing between them. "Let's get out of here, eh?"

Thomas went to open the door but, before he could get out, Rick stopped him. "Thomas, wait."

Turning back to his friends in the middle of the room, Thomas asked, "What? What's wrong?"

Rick looked down at the ground, not knowing the best way to proceed. He then looked at TC and Robin and took a deep breath. "Brother, it's not as easy as that this time."

"Why? What happened?"

They all struggled to make eye contact with him. "Tell me!"

Just then the door behind them suddenly opened. "Mr Magnum," Dr Duncan said, "I'm the doctor assigned to you. I just caught the end of your conversation. It seems you're back in the present?" He looked around for confirmation. When Magnum's three friends all nodded, he continued. "I know you want everyone to tell you what's happened but I'm afraid your friends can't tell you. It's important that you remember without any prompting." Seeing that Magnum was about to protest, he quickly suggested, "Come. Let's get you all cleaned up, get some food, and then we can talk about the next steps."

Rick, TC and Robin were all relieved that the doctor had taken over, taking a bit of the pressure off them. Thomas had seemed so laid back, so accepting that he'd had an episode, until he'd realised something was wrong. It was like the calm before the storm.

They were taken to the locker room and allowed the chance to shower and change before going to the doctor's office. All four were quiet as they cleaned up. Magnum was beginning to realise that something was seriously wrong; he just didn't know what. He had no memory of what had happened. Heck, he didn't even know how long this episode had lasted. He was worried. Every other time he usually remembered with complete clarity. Why was he forgetting this one?

Just like Magnum, the others were sombre, each locked in their own thoughts. They were all very much worrying about the same things and they didn't know how the doctor was going to get Magnum to remember on his own. They were also very worried about his reaction when he did. Seeing Juliet and hearing her description of the events had been traumatic enough for them, and they hadn't even been involved. They didn't know how Thomas was going to handle it when he remembered what he'd done, assuming he did remember.

TC and Rick knew how much Thomas now relied on Juliet. Oh, he'd never admit it, but she was always his first point of contact in any case he was on, and more often than not it was she who solved it with him. But it wasn't just that; both TC and Rick knew that both of their friends were starting to get closer and had supported that, although not pushing them.

As Rick shook his head under the water, he put his hands on the cold shower tiles and tried to breath slowly. This wasn't over by a long shot and he knew they hadn't seen the worst yet. It was going to be hard for all of them to get over this, but especially Thomas.

Once they'd all finished showering, they dressed quietly, but Thomas' nerves were getting to him. "Did I do something bad?" he finally asked. The others looked at him and his childlike question.

TC took hold of his shoulder and hugged him. "We'll get through this, brother, we promise." He knew his answer only raised his friend's concern but he couldn't lie to him, either.

"Let's see what the doctor says," Robin said as he walked to the door and opened it, ushering the others out. They walked as one to Dr Duncan's, knocked, and were invited in.

"Mr Magnum, it's good to see you looking so well." The doctor shook Thomas' hand. "Please, have a seat and we'll see what we can tell you about what's been going on."

Thomas sat down, along with the others, and faced the doctor. "What happened?"

The doctor smiled wryly. "It's not as easy as that. I can tell you that you're missing some memories, and we need to try and get your mind to access them."

"Okay." Thomas sat back in the seat, his anxiety rising. "So, how do we do that?"

"Well, clearly talking to your friends and having them present has helped a great deal. You've been here for almost 24 hours and we've been monitoring your conversations with your friends. Right now you seem to have no memory of the past 40 hours.

"What do you mean, 'right now'?" Thomas asked warily.

"During the time you've been here, you've been awake a couple of times. What you remembered has changed each time you were awake. We need to try to guide you to see what you've retained from these times." The doctor paused.

Thomas looked down. "Let me get this straight, doctor. I had an episode, something happened, I was brought here, I remembered some of what happened but, for some reason, have now supressed that?"

"Yes. That's a good summary."

"And by the looks on the faces of my brothers, it's something pretty bad."

The doctor looked him straight in the eye. "That would be correct."

Thomas felt the wind leave his lungs at the doctor's confirmation. He was now even more unsure as to whether he really wanted to know what had happened.

"You'll need to face this." The doctor's words sliced through Thomas. "You can't run from the situation. It isn't healthy for you or the people around you."

"So, let's get started," Thomas said. He'd never run from danger, and he wasn't going to start now.

"Okay, tell me what the last thing you remember is, with as much detail as you can."

"Higgins and I were on a case. An elderly man reported items being stolen from his residential home. Higgins was great. She got the man to calmly tell her what was missing." Thomas smiled at the memory. "Anyway, the thing he was most upset about was his wallet, as it contained pictures of his wife, kids... you know, old ones... and he didn't have any other copies. So, we did a bit of digging and realised that two of the staff were stealing items from the residents. We went to confront them, and… I think I remember being shot at… we were down at the docks… Did I get knocked out?"

"It would appear so." The doctor didn't want to give away too much information.

"What about Higgins? Was she injured?" Thomas looked around but no one replied. He started to panic. "I want to see her," he demanded loudly. "Where is she?" His anxiety increased at the thought that something bad had happened to her. He started to hyperventilate and the doctor moved around his desk to be in front of Magnum. TC and Rick showed their support by putting their hands on his shoulders.

An awful thought struck Thomas and, looking stricken, he finally whispered, "What did I do to her?" No one had any idea how to answer his question. And his friends had no idea how to console their friend.


	10. Chapter 10

**Here is chapter 10, we leave Thomas and join the guys going to see Juliet. Thanks for keeping reading. More to come soon. **

Chapter 10

"This is a very bad idea!" Rick stated, again, now he was sitting in the back of Robin's hired vehicle. They were being driven back to the house to see Juliet.

"We've been over this!" TC uncharacteristically shouted.

"Yes, we have, and it's still the worst idea we've ever had. C'mon Robin, you've been Juliet's friend longer than we have, tell him we aren't gonna do this."

Robin glared at his two friends sitting opposite him. They'd left Magnum at the base after he'd been given a very mild sedative. He had no idea what he'd done to Juliet but he knew it was something and his breathing had become so erratic that it had affected his heart rate and blood pressure. Dr Duncan had come to the realisation that the only option left was to shock Thomas into remembering what he'd done. The doctor's 'expert' opinion had been to try and convince Juliet to visit Magnum. So, to save one friend, they were discussing hurting another.

Robin sat up straight, realising that Rick was right. "Rick's right, TC, we can't do this to Juliet. Being totally blunt, Thomas raped her two days ago and now we're asking her to go and visit him, as if he was the victim!"

"But Thomas needs this!"

"Yeah, and Juliet doesn't. Look, let's get to the Nest and see how she is first. We can tell her the truth about Thomas and let the discussion flow from there. But we can't just arrive and ask her to come back with us. That wouldn't be fair to her."

TC deflated and realised exactly how destructive the doctor's idea could be. "Yeah, we promised we'd look after her, too," he agreed quietly.

Robin breathed a sigh of relief at TC's change of heart. "We did." He sat back. "But I've also never known Juliet to back down from anything so once she knows he needs her I don't know what she'll do."

"But she comes first," Rick stated, still fuming at TC. "I saw her in that cellar. She has every right to hate Thomas and not want to see him ever again, never mind only a couple of days after the ordeal."

Just then the car swept up to the gate of Robin's Nest, ending the discussion. Robin keyed in his code and they entered the estate. Kumu was waiting for them at the door to the main house and Juliet walked slowly to meet them, flanked by the two Dobermans.

"Jules!" Robin greeted his friend as he gave her a light hug. "How are you? I thought you'd be resting."

Juliet smiled weakly at him. "I was, but I needed air. It started to feel a little claustrophobic."

Juliet was clearly distracted and the others glanced at each other.

"How about a walk to the beach, Higgy?" Rick suggested as he walked over to Juliet and, linking his arm with hers, pulled her out of her silent reverie.

"Mmm... a walk… yes…"

She and Rick strolled off in the direction of the beach, leaving Robin, TC and Kumu to follow if they chose.

Robin turned to his curator. "So, how is she?"

"She rested for a while but she's been quite agitated. I've found her twice at the study window, looking at the guest house. She's understandably on edge and visibly jumps when you come up to her unannounced. The doctor believes she should speak to a specialist but she's having none of it."

"She was like this when Richard was killed. She shut down completely, then tried to solve the case on her own and lashed out at others so much that she got herself disavowed."

TC was the only one watching Juliet and Rick. "It's different this time. She knows what happened because It happened to her, and the only person she can blame is Thomas. At least this time she has us to help her. C'mon, let's go sit for a while on the beach."

Rick and Juliet had walked slowly across the lawn with the two dogs running around them, both clearly unwilling to leave their mistress for long.

Once they reached the shoreline, Juliet looked back at the estate and spotted the other three walking behind them. She swiftly turned back to Rick and asked the question she'd been keen to ask. "How's Thomas?"

Rick looked at her seriously. "Can I ask why you want to know, Jules? You've been taking side glances at the guest house this whole walk. Are you worried about him or worried he'll be back here soon?"

"Isn't your answer going to be the same no matter why I'm asking?"

"Possibly, but I'd probably change how I say it, depending on your answer."

"Does he remember?" she asked quietly.

"Some things. He knows he's out of Afghanistan and is in Hawaii and that Nuzo died. He remembers you and living here but he has no memory of the actual episode."

Juliet nodded, her arms circling her waist involuntarily. Both Zeus and Apollo, sensing the mood change, stopped romping about and sat on either side of their mistress.

Just then the others arrived, all a little concerned at the stance Juliet had assumed and the serious look on Rick's face.

"Jules, you okay?" Robin asked, noticing that she'd flinched slightly when he'd first spoken.

Juliet didn't answer but instead asked the same question she'd asked Rick. "How's Thomas?"

Robin and TC looked to Rick, who was clearly avoiding the question, then Robin took the lead. "Well, like you told us, in his head he was back in Afghanistan, so we took him back there as best we could by setting things up in his hospital room and got him to work through the episode. He came out quicker than his doctor had expected and seemed to be fine."

"And then…" Juliet asked, turning to all of them.

Robin sighed. "Then he asked about you. The doctor wouldn't allow us to tell him. He wants Thomas to remember it by himself. But we were quiet and he guessed that something had happened. He has no idea what but he knows it was bad. The doctor had to re-sedate him…"

"The thought that he had hurt me caused him to panic," Juliet finished quietly for him.

"Yes," TC stated.

"What happens now?" Juliet asked, her fingers worrying her T-shirt as her anxiety increased. She'd known it might all be a blank to him. She only wished it was all a blank to her, as well.

This time she was more aware of the men around her and saw the look pass between them. "What?"

"Nothing," Robin said firmly, giving the other guys a purposeful, look.

"Robin, I'm not stupid, remember? There's something going on, something you're not telling me."

Rick and TC looked at each other, and Rick slowly nodded then turned from Juliet's gaze. "The doctor... his doctor... wants Thomas to remember quickly. He suggested the idea of him seeing you to jog his memory."

Juliet stepped back from the guys. "No."

The dogs began a low-level growl as they perceived Juliet to be in danger.

Kumu stepped from beside the men to stand beside Juliet. "She's not seeing him, and I can't believe you asked her that."

"Relax, Kumu," Rick said, then turned to Juliet. "I promise we weren't asking you." He slowly moved closer to Juliet. "You asked us what we weren't telling you and so we did. The doctor wanted us to ask you but we'd already decided that we weren't going to."

"What if it's the only thing that will help him?" Juliet asked quietly.

Robin moved forward, grateful when she didn't shrink back from his closeness. "Jules, not two days have passed since we talked about taking this one day at a time. Since then, Thomas has remembered being here in Hawaii and his life at the Nest. That's progress. Who knows, given a couple of days, he may remember everything without needing to see you. You get to decide this, not some doctor or Thomas."

"Okay, thanks. I'm just a bit on edge, that's all."

"And that's perfectly understandable," Kumu stated motheringly as she stood beside Juliet. She then tried to manoeuvre her towards the house. "And resting and sleeping will also help."

Juliet broke from Kumu's light hold. "Don't you understand?" she shouted, tears forming in her eyes. "I can't go to sleep." She curled her arms further around herself. "Every time I close my eyes, I can see him, I can feel him, he presses into me, I can feel the cold on my back, his breath on my face. I can't sleep because all I do is re-live it." Juliet had backed away from the others again. This time Rick took the initiative and moved towards her.

"Okay, Higgy, no sleeping." He got closer and she let him put his arm across her shoulder. God, he felt horrendous and just wanted to do something to help her. Well he decided, they could be there for her, like they promised so when he felt her breathing calm a little, he started talking again. "How about we sit out in the gazebo, watch the sun on the waves. TC can fire up the BBQ and we can have some of those nice steaks that Robin here gets delivered."

After Juliet nodded, Rick continued. "And I think we need to make good on the promise we made you in the hospital. You need to talk to us or, if you want, use the number Katsumoto gave you. You can't bottle this stuff up. We all learned that after the Korengal. You need to tell us what's worrying you."

Juliet couldn't make eye contact when she spoke, and worried her fingers over her t-shirt hem. "It's just… I don't know how to feel or what's worrying me… or if I'm worried at all…"

Rick carefully took her by the arm and guided her slowly back to the main garden. "Higgy, that's totally normal. When we finally escaped, we were in a really bad way. We were all very angry and we had to work on that in the hospital in Germany. Sometimes we'd snap at each other, even though we were all so close. Nuzo and TC were the worst - quite placid on the outside but boy, when they got going..."

Juliet smiled weakly as Rick continued to talk about issues the guys had as they walked.

Back on the beach Robin turned to Kumu. "Kumu, can you go get the staff to rustle up some food? Not sure Jules is really up for a steak but I'm sure they can make her favourite something."

"Of course."

After Kumu had left, Robin and TC started to make their way towards Rick and Juliet.

TC looked at Robin. "Sorry, man, about even thinking of putting Juliet through going to the base."

"You want Thomas to get better. I get that."

"Yeah, but not at her expense."

They walked in silence for a few minutes before TC spoke again. "You know, we're the right people to help her, Rick in particular. He struggled when we escaped and spent a lot of time with the counsellors."

"You're the right people, but is this the right place?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, this place was supposed to be a sanctuary for both of them. I know we make light of it but I've made a huge amount of money out of your history, and Juliet's with Richard. But this place was about a refuge. I could feel it when I stayed here right at the start, writing the first book. I wanted that for both of them. They deserved it. But now I can't help but feel that that's gone and maybe one, both, or all of us need to move on."

"Brother, you've just finished telling her that it's only day 3. Let's not make any hasty decisions just yet. If either of them needs space, or another place, I'm sure we can make arrangements."

"Yeah, we need to speak to the police, see what they're planning to do. Do you think they'll let him come home if Juliet isn't pressing charges?"

"Katsumoto said he had to report to his superiors. We can call and see what he says." TC suddenly stopped walking. "Should we give her another chance to change her mind about the charges?"

Robin also stopped when he realised TC was no longer beside him and looked back to see what had made him stop. Noticing TC staring straight ahead, he turned to see what he was looking at and saw that he was watching Rick and Juliet, with Rick dancing around for whatever reason. "I think she's already made her mind up. She knows that her friend wouldn't do this in his right mind. It's not going to stop the nightmares or fears, but she doesn't want him punished."

TC nodded and started walking again. He watched as Juliet smiled a little at Rick's antics, then could see Kumu coming back from the house. "One day at a time, then, for all of us."


	11. Chapter 11

**Here is chapter 11. Thanks for those who have followed the story this week. Star - don't worry about me not finishing the story, it is done and just gets tweaked before I post. **

Chapter 11

Gordon Katsumoto had spent the last year of his life trying to decide whether it was best to arrest Magnum or let him help solve whatever case he was working on. Now he had almost the same decision, only it wasn't his to make. His boss had sent him to the base to interview Magnum and make a recommendation whether to arrest him or let him go. It wasn't an easy decision. Higgins' view that Magnum shouldn't be punished would make it hard, though not impossible, to charge him. However, if Katsumoto approved it, HPD would make a case against Magnum and take him to trial.

Mulling over this decision, Katsumoto followed Dr Duncan from the main hospital entrance to the ward where Thomas had been kept overnight, and he took the opportunity to question him the doctor.

"How much does Magnum remember?"

"Well, it seems to change. When he first woke up, he could remember the punishment he gave to the woman, although he still believed it was his ex-girlfriend. Then when his friends encouraged him to come out of the episode, he could remember everything up to the punishment. He got very anxious when he knew there was something he couldn't remember."

"And is that usual with PTSD?"

"Detective, there's nothing usual about a PTSD episode. They're different for every person and they can be different every time a person has one. Although, Magnum himself suggested that this time was unusual as he mostly remembers his episodes."

"Will it ever come back to him?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I suggested that he needed to see the woman he'd done this to, however, his friends believed that this shouldn't happen."

"I'd have to agree with them!" Gordon snapped at the Doctor, appalled at the suggestion.

"Yes, well, unfortunately, given the circumstances, this may stop his progress."

Gordon stared at the man who was clearly focussed on one patient, when the rest of them were trying to help two. "Doctor, I can tell you one thing, if hurting her was the only way to help him, he wouldn't want you to do it."

The doctor stopped and looked at the policeman, and perhaps for the first time considered that idea. "That could make things very difficult."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, at the moment, the Mr Magnum of, say, last week, is here. He's as he was, carefree but willing to help others, able to make a joke and have fun. Only that Mr Magnum no longer fits in his world. I understand he almost lives with the woman he attacked?"

Gordon nodded as the doctor continued. "It would be very difficult for everything to go back to normal if he's unaware of what happened but everyone else knows all about it."

The doctor took a breath and sighed. "Detective, I don't wish to further hurt this woman, but if we don't force Mr Magnum to remember, he'll expect life to go on as usual and that, I am fully aware, is impossible. Ms Higgins shouldn't be forced to see him, but what's the plan? You've just told me that it's less likely that you'll press charges?

"Yes," Gordon agreed quietly.

"Then when he wakes up, he'd be within his rights to go home. What should I say then? I can't reveal his memories. That wouldn't help him at all. His friends can't reveal it, either. So, do we keep him here, do you take him to prison, or to a hotel?"

"I'd like to speak to him before making any decisions, but I see your point. The quicker he remembers, the better."

The two continued to Thomas' room and, when they arrived, the doctor stopped before opening the door. "Please let me ascertain what his memories are this time before you speak to him. Then I'll let you ask whatever questions you want."

Gordon nodded in agreement and the doctor opened the door. They both entered and saw that Magnum was stirring. He turned towards them, wiping his hand down his face in an attempt to wake up. "Hey, Doc, Katsumoto, what's going on?"

As they'd decided, Dr Duncan took the lead. "What do you remember, Mr Magnum?"

Thomas laid his head back. "Uh… I'm on the base... was knocked out, I think… the guys were here, and Robin... are they still here?"

"No, they said they'd be back later."

Thomas thought for a moment. "Something's wrong, isn't it? And I don't know what it is." He turned to Gordon. "Is that why you're here?" Gordon didn't reply.

"Mr Magnum," the doctor continued, "We need to spend some time seeing if we can push your memories. It's vital that you remember, or at least try."

"Okay… but do I get to pee first? Or eat something? Usually do my thinking on a full stomach."

"Of course. We'll be waiting for you in my office." Dr Duncan walked to the door, pulling Katsumoto with him.

They walked back to the office via the nurses' station, asking that some food from the mess be delivered to Magnum.

Time passed, Dr Duncan occupying himself with case notes of other patients while Katsumoto paced the room, occasionally picking up a book that looked interesting from the many bookcases in the office. It then came as a major surprise when a nurse arrived to inform them that, when an aide had gone to deliver Magnum's breakfast, he was no longer in the room.

Sometimes it amazed Thomas that everyone around him seemed to forget that for over ten years he'd been a navy seal with the highest clearance in naval intelligence. He wasn't stupid, he knew something had gone wrong, and if they weren't going to tell him what it was, he was going to find out some other way. He also knew, because he hadn't seen her since, that this had something to do with Higgins. He needed to see that she was okay. So, he quickly dressed, made his way out through the window, across the base, and was in an uber on the way to the Nest before anyone knew he was missing. Good job he still had his phone and a credit card. It paid to keep his emergency one in the back of his phone.

When the car pulled up at the estate gate, Thomas paid the driver, then got out and punched his code into the panel that opened the gates. He quickly made his way to the main house, his anxiety over checking on Higgins growing by the second. He could hear the main phone ring inside as he approached the door, then Rick answering it.

"No!" Rick yelled, then called out to the others, "TC, Robin, he's out!"

Rick's tone stopped Thomas in his stride, the fear and dread in his friend's voice was something he never expected to hear.

For the next few seconds, time seemed to stand still. Then all at once, the guys barrelled out of the main door just as Thomas heard the dogs coming up from the beach, and a glass smashing on the gravel behind him. He turned and came face to face with Juliet, who looked like she'd been severely beaten and had seen a ghost.

"Higgy?" he whispered, "My God! What happened? Did I do this?"

The dogs rushed past her and headed for him and, for the first time since he and Higgins had got closer, Thomas didn't hear Juliet call them to heel, and that panicked him. He bolted for the front door, passing his friends, and shut the door with the dogs fiercely barking on the other side. He looked out at the driveway through the glass pane in the door and saw Rick calming the dogs as Robin went to Juliet and TC stood as a barrier between him and her. He sank to the floor. What the hell had he done?

Kumu, who had missed his arrival, saw the despair in his eyes as he sat and leaned against the door.

"Thomas? Why are you out of hospital?"

"I needed to know she was okay," he almost sobbed in reply. "But she's not, is she? I hurt her, so badly. Did I do all that damage?" He looked at Kumu. "She's scared of me, so scared that she let the dogs try to get me. She's never done that before. She'd always click her fingers or call them back." He coughed and pulled himself together, then stood up. "She'll not want me around now. I'll go out the back, get some clothes together, then go."

Thomas walked past Kumu then stopped, but didn't turn around to face her. "Can you give her a message?" He waited a beat but still didn't look at her. "Tell her I'm so sorry. I must have really gone for her and I didn't mean it. I don't know why I beat her up. Tell her I'm sorry that I scare her. Tell her I wish I could make it better but… Tell her… Tell her I'm gonna really miss her and… no, maybe not."

He started walking away slowly as Kumu said, "I'll tell her you love her."

Thomas stopped and nodded. "Muhalo, Kumu." He then continued, exiting out the back of the house, then headed to the guest house.

By the time he'd packed a bag with his few possessions, all his clothes, and picked up his medals, Rick and TC were there just as he was closing the trunk that was in his room.

"Can you bring it to me when I get settled somewhere?"

Rick was fidgeting in the doorway. "Yeah. Wait! Where are you going?"

"Not here, that's all I know."

"But in Hawaii?" Rick asked fearfully, causing Thomas to look at him for the first time.

"For now, maybe 'til I remember, but I think that once I do, I'll want to be as far away from here as I can get."

"You can't go, Thomas," TC said. "We need you and you need us," he pleaded with him.

"I don't know anymore. I've done something and it's hurt her. She's scared and if I did that to her, I must've really messed up. I can't fix it when I don't know what it is. When I don't know what I've done. Nothing will ever be the same again."

Thomas picked up his things. "Can you give me a ride?" He looked at the keys to the Ferrari sitting on the table. "Tell Robin I'm grateful for all the help he's given me but I can't keep sponging off him, like Higgins would say."

"Brother, stop!" TC said fiercely. "We've had a saying around here for the last few days - one day at a time. Yes, you should go somewhere, but at least one of us is coming with you and we're gonna be with you through all of this."

Thomas' shoulders slumped a little as he stood in the middle of the room, then he nodded.

Meanwhile, back in the main driveway, Kumu had opened the door to see Juliet being hugged by Robin.

Juliet was crying and clutching at Robin. "He looked so scared of the dogs. I didn't stop them. Why didn't I stop them?"

"Shhh. He's fine. They didn't get him. See? Rick calmed them down and they're here and Thomas is fine."

Kumu walked over to the two of them. Juliet stepped slightly away from Robin and asked her, "Is he okay?"

"Yes, he's gone to the guesthouse to pack some clothes. He wanted me to give you a message, if you'd like to hear it?"

Juliet simply nodded.

"He said to say he was sorry, that he doesn't know what happened but he does know you're hurt and scared of him, and so he must have done something to you. And for that he's very sorry. He wishes he could make it all better." Kumu tried and failed to stop the emotion getting to her and they could hear it in her voice as she added quietly, "He said to say he was going to miss you and that he loves you."

Juliet, who had held it together until then, broke down, her hands covering her face as she felt her knees buckle. She allowed Robin to pick her up and take her inside.


	12. Chapter 12

**I happened to have my computer on this morning and thought I would post another chapter. Star, if you were crying for chapter 11, it will be worse now. Thanks for the follows**

Chapter 12

Juliet awoke to quiet voices and realised that Rick and TC were back and were talking to Robin. She got up quickly from the sofa and called out to them. "How long have I been asleep? Where is he?"

"It's okay, Higgy," Rick said, "You can't have been out long. Thomas is out front in the Range Rover. We're gonna take him back to the base and catch up with the doc and Katsumoto, see what the plan is."

Juliet nodded then thought for a moment. "I want to see him."

"Jules, no, not today. You don't need to do this," Robin pleaded with her.

"Yes, I do, or I might not see him again. Let's go." Juliet strode purposefully out of the room, ordering the lads to stay indoors but checking that the guys were following her. She stepped out of the main door but hesitated a little when she saw the vehicle. Rick took her arm and allowed her to move forward with confidence. As she approached the car, Thomas appeared on the other side and Juliet came to an abrupt halt, unnerved by Thomas' sudden appearance.

Thomas was completely unsure of what to say or do, so slowly walked around the front of the car but didn't try to approach her.

"Hello, Magnum," Juliet said hesitantly.

"Hi, Higgy." Thomas replied hoarsely, his pain obvious. "Are you okay?"

Juliet shook her head. "Not really," she whispered, emotion choking her voice.

Thomas looked at Juliet, distraught, desperate to comfort her but knowing he couldn't. "Is there anything I can do?" he finally asked, his voice breaking.

She nodded and, before any of them knew what was happening, she'd launched herself at him. Fortunately, Magnum caught her and, to the surprise of all, they stood holding each other tightly until Higgins moaned a little in pain.

Thomas tried to release her but she wouldn't let go.

"Just hold me, please," Juliet whimpered. She didn't know why she was hugging him but she was and, as long as she didn't think about it, it felt great, despite the pain around her middle.

"I'm so sorry, Higgy. Why did I beat you up? Did I do anything else?"

For the second time that morning Juliet began weeping. "It wasn't you. I know it wasn't you. But I don't know how to do this. I want to talk to you but I'm not allowed to tell you."

"Shh, it's okay. I'll try and remember, I promise. But I'd never mean to hurt you, you've got to realise that." Thomas looked at the others and signalled to Robin to come and get Juliet. "I'm gonna go to the base for a bit. We called Captain Greene and he has some nice VIP quarters for me. Means I'm not here so you get to choose when you see me, okay?"

Juliet nodded into his shoulder, then pulled back.

Thomas ran his eyes over her to see if he could work out her injuries. She had bruises on her face and seemed to be fragile, not a word he would usually associate with her. She clearly had sore ribs, maybe broken as she'd been in pain when he'd hugged her. As his eyes moved up her body and looked into hers, he could see it. He could see her pain, the shame she felt, and he suddenly knew what he'd done to her.

"No!" Thomas backed away from her and had to hold on to the car to stay upright. "Tell me I didn't… No… Please, tell me I didn't do that…"

Juliet started crying again, and this time Kumu joined her. Robin put his arms around Juliet, trying to give her what comfort he could.

Thomas was distraught at seeing Juliet's distress, knowing that he'd been the cause. Rick and TC helped him to move to the other side of the car, away from Juliet.

"No... I didn't... I couldn't do that to her... No, I wouldn't… Higgins!" Thomas called her name wildly, as if she could free him from the nightmare he was now in. He looked over the top of the vehicle and looked at her. "I'm so sorry… I don't know what happened!"

TC and Rick bundled Thomas into the back of the vehicle and Rick got in beside his now sobbing friend. "Let's go, brother," Rick said to TC. "We need to get him to the base."

As the car pulled away, Juliet calmed down a little. "It wasn't him. _He_ didn't do this to me. I'm glad I came out to see him."

"I'm not sure his doctor will be happy but if you're okay, then I'm okay, too," Robin stated.

"Is he going to be okay?"

Robin sighed. "He'll be okay, one day, but he'll never be the same again. Until he fully remembers, in his mind now, he did this to you, and that is something he will never forgive himself for."

"Call Rick and TC. We need to tell him. I don't care what the doctor thinks, he needs to know the circumstances or we'll lose him forever."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Magnum won't let himself remember what happened and it'll eat away at him from the inside out. He needs to know that he believed I was someone else."

"Okay. C'mon, I'll call from inside. I suspect the doctor will have something to say about that, as well, but now he knows that he did this to you, you're right, he needs to know the rest."

Rick searched through his pockets for his ringing cell phone, keeping an eye on Thomas as he curled himself into the corner of the backseat of Robin's Land Rover.

"Aloha, Robin." Rick frowned as he listened to what Robin had to say. "Is she sure?"

Thomas sat up. "Is she okay? Is Higgins okay?"

Rick looked at Thomas and held up his hand as he continued talking to Robin. "Yeah, Robin, I kinda agree with her." He handed the cell phone to Thomas. "She wants to speak to you."

Thomas took the phone but hesitated before tentatively saying, "Higgins?" He was unsure of what was happening.

"You didn't rape me," Juliet said in a rush. "You attacked Hannah. You thought I was her."

"Hannah…? But I did rape you…"

"NO!" Juliet was firm. "You were knocked out and when you woke up, you were back in Afghanistan, in prison, and Hannah was there."

"But it wasn't. It was you."

"Thomas Magnum, you will listen and you will hear me. You had NO idea that it was me there. In your mind, Hannah was with you. She had hurt you and your team, betrayed you and…"

"I punished her..." Thomas said quietly, his mind beginning to see and remember.

"Yes, you punished her, only it was my body that was there. But you had no idea of that. Do you understand me?"

"You need to report me, Juliet," Thomas said as his mind jumped to the fact that he should be punished.

"No. I've already made that decision. You, my friend, the man who has driven me crazy and saved my life, could never hurt me."

"But I did, God, and all I could see were the bruises on your face, the rest of you…" Thomas snapped out of what seemed like a trance. "Are you okay? Have you been to the hospital? Have they cleared you? You didn't leave AMA like the last time, did you?"

Juliet smiled a little at his questions. "I've been to the hospital, they did clear me for being at home and resting, and I left with their blessing." She paused before continuing quietly. "I'm not okay, though. I keep seeing it, reliving it, but talking to you and seeing you is helping, because it wasn't you."

"We talked about punishing Hannah… I remember that."

"I know. Rick told me."

"We'd just found out it was her. I've never felt so much pain in my life, and I've been in some painful situations. We talked about destroying her…" Thomas paused then asked very quietly, "Please tell me I didn't destroy you?"

"I'm not destroyed," Juliet stated just as quietly. "I'm broken, yes... but so are you." She held her breath for a moment then spoke from her heart. "But we can put each other back together again, if you'd like."

"I love you." It slipped out so quietly, so unexpectedly but, when Thomas looked at Rick's face, he grimaced. Probably not the right time. He almost didn't catch her quiet reply.

"Me, too."

"What do we do now?" he asked.

"Do you remember, now that I've told you?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe, or maybe I'm just using my imagination and it's not what really happened. You see, what I see in my mind is Hannah, not you."

"But at least you remember that. The truth can't hurt us anymore, so let it come, let yourself remember, and then we can talk. Are you at the base yet?"

Thomas looked out the window. "Yeah, we're here. Katsumoto is waiting for me. He has that look on his face like I've really disappointed him."

"Don't worry about him. Just concentrate on you."

"Does he want to arrest me?" Thomas asked both Juliet and Rick, as well as TC as he made eye contact with him.

"I won't let him," Juliet promised. "It wasn't you and the you that was there wasn't attacking me."

"I'd better go and see what he and the doctor say."

"Okay. Do you have your cell with you?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I'm going to call you tonight, okay? See how you are."

"Are you sure? After what I did to you?"

"I'm sure."

"I'd like that."

TC pulled the car up beside Katsumoto and his vehicle.

"We're here… Thank you for telling me, Juliet."

"It was the right thing to do. I'll speak to you tonight. Aloha."

"Aloha." Thomas quietly replied. He disconnected the call and hand the cell back to Rick.

"I attacked Hannah," Thomas said quietly. "Do you know why?"

"No. All we could figure out from you was that you seemed to be back at the point of that conversation. You had just seen her, they'd beaten me up quite badly, and TC wasn't well. You punished her for what she did to us."

"Except it was Higgins."

"Yeah, it was, and that's something we're all going to have to work through. But you didn't know that. Not at any point did you know that it was her." Rick stared at Thomas, trying to convince him. He could see that Thomas was desperate to believe him. "Thomas, I'm not saying that doing that to anyone is right, 'cause we all know it's not, but with the circumstances it's at least understandable." He put a hand on Thomas' shoulder. "C'mon, the doc isn't gonna be happy that you worked this out without remembering on your own, and that we told you the rest."

"Will there be more needles?" Thomas asked as he opened the door.

"Who knows, brother. I always thought the medics used them as punishment, anyway, so this guy could go to town with them."

Thomas smirked for just a moment as he got out of the car. He then turned towards Katsumoto and held out his hand to shake the detective's. "Sorry I did a runner. I had to see if Higgins was okay and no one here would tell me anything."

Katsumoto briefly shook Thomas' hand then asked him, "Did you see her?"

"Yeah, and I worked out what happened. You should arrest me."

"Thomas!" TC shouted.

"I'm not going to. Higgins could do me some real damage and she says that you weren't the one who attacked her. She says that she isn't going to press charges."

"Yeah... She said that to me, too."

"Do you have your memory back?"

"No, just my imagination of the pain I must have caused her."

"I think that's more powerful than any punishment I could give you."

"Yeah... maybe… but I want to know. I want to remember."

"Then you're in the right place. I'll leave you to get settled." He nodded to Thomas. "Rick, TC, Aloha."

They all nodded back.

Thomas took a deep breath. "So, let's see what the doctor can do, eh? You're with me, right?"

"Always, brother. We have your back." TC guided him by the shoulder as they went to see what the doctor would say about developments this morning.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay with the chapter, I've not been very well and although not better, I feel capable of reading over the chapter to ensure it makes sense. Thanks for the reviews this week, not just Star! I have really appreciated hearing that you are enjoying the story.**

Chapter 13

After speaking to Thomas, Juliet decided it was time to try and take back control of her life, or at least some of it. So, she grabbed her yoga mat and wandered out to the gazebo. Slowly, she laid out the mat and moved onto the platform, taking up her first position. It wasn't easy. Her legs felt sluggish, her ribs were in pain, and her arms ached.

She took a deep breath and lifted her arms, trying to find her balance. Juliet loved the process of yoga, had found solace in it after Richard's death, and would use it now to help her recover. The dogs came and stood on the ground below her, watching her every move and keeping her safe.

Going through her routine, Juliet pushed her body to do the best it could with her injuries. She was concentrating on her positions, making sure she didn't further injure herself by overdoing it, when she noticed the dogs had suddenly sat up and were looking towards the house. Quickly looking up, Juliet saw that it was just Kumu arriving with cold lemonade that had got the dogs attention, and she relaxed and smiled. She didn't miss much about the UK, certainly not the weather, but lemonade on the lawn in the summer was a memory she would cherish and was delighted that Kumu remembered her love of the drink.

"Muhalo, Kumu." Juliet rubbed her arms and face with the towel she had brought with her and moved off the platform to sit with Kumu. "Where's Robin?"

"He's shouting down the phone. Something about a movie deal. Are they making the White Knight series into a film?"

"Yes, I think so. Robin mentioned something about it when he was here after the boat incident. I remember Rick trying to influence the decision on who would play him."

"I imagine they'd all have something to say about that decision."

"Yes, well, it will all depend on whether Robin keeps those rights, of course."

"He's smart enough to do that." Kumu looked over her glass at Juliet before carefully asking, "How are you Juliet?"

Juliet looked away for a moment, thinking about her reply, then looked back at Kumu, smiling. "I'm healing, Kumu. And it was the right decision to see him and to talk to him."

"And it helps that you both feel the same way about each other."

Juliet smiled shyly. "Yes, it does. It helps me to separate what happened there, the man there, with the man I know in my heart. I know he wasn't in his right mind when he did what he did. It won't be easy, but nothing in life is easy. I've survived many bad experiences, Kumu, and for a few days I'd forgotten that. I'd forgotten how strong I am. No, I'm not over it, and I may never be completely over it, but I'll survive this and so will Thomas. We'll help each other get through it, together."

"Yes, you will. You'll help each other heal."

"We'll try."

Juliet looked towards the house when she noticed Robin walking towards them. He sat down at the table beside them, helping himself to a glass of lemonade.

"Detective Katsumoto just called. He said to tell you that after discussions with his Captain they weren't going to prosecute Thomas." He looked to Juliet to see her reaction and continued while making sure she was ok.

"He said that he spoke to the doctor who is willing to testify that Thomas was suffering from an extreme PTSD episode, brought on by a serious concussion, Thomas can't remember the event and you're not willing to give evidence against him." He briefly paused again, he didn't want to hurt Juliet but she needed to know why the HPD had taken this decision.

"His Captain feels that they would be unlikely to get a conviction, Thomas would admit to doing it but it would be unlikely that a jury would convict him and send him to jail, given the doctor's evidence. In fact, he is sure that even a judge without a jury would be unlikely to pass a strong sentence. He did say that Thomas could force the HPD to arrest him, but..."

"No, no arrests. That's how it should be." Juliet looked him in the eye for the first time.

"He wanted me to remind you that HPD counselling could help you..."

She shook her head.

"Yeah, I thought you'd say that. You know we're here to help you right?"

"Yes, I know." Juliet smiled slightly then asked, "Did Katsumoto say how Thomas was?"

"Determined. He tried to get the detective to arrest him and when Katsumoto refused he was then anxious to start remembering. He said he left Thomas getting settled by Rick and TC."

"I'll call him tonight."

Robin nodded. "How're you doing?" he asked her, reaching for more lemonade.

"It's been a better afternoon than I expected, and for now, that's good."

Robin agreed and the three sat in comfortable silence for several minutes before Robin spoke again. "I need to go back to the mainland."

Juliet nodded. "Yes, apparently you have a film to plan." She nodded to Kumu to show where her information had come from.

"Yes, I was at the tricky point in negotiations when I left. Do I want a role in supervising the creation of the film or do I just wait to pick up the paycheck?"

"Do you trust the people who want to make the film?"

"To an extent, I suppose. Why?"

"Well, it seems that you took some liberties yourself with the guys' stories. How would you feel if others took it further, perhaps didn't have the same feelings for your characters, and ultimately your friends? Could you cope if they changed their basic make up, made them do things you know they wouldn't do?"

Robin sighed. "No, not after this week. I want to protect them, especially from movie producers."

"Then you have your answer."

"You're good, you know." Robin smiled when Juliet winked at him. "Well, now that I have my answer, I really need to get back to LA, or else TC's gonna be a white air force pilot fresh out of Harvard, and Rick could be a luckless private from the Deep South. _I'm_ the only one who gets to screw with their stories, no one else." With that final pronouncement, Robin stood up and then reached over the table to hug Juliet and give her a peck on the cheek. "You take care and, if you need me, call and I'll come, I promise."

"Thank you, I will call you." She took as deep a breath as she could. "I was saying to Kumu that I'm heading in the right direction."

"Yes, you are. Okay, I'd better go make the arrangements. Kumu, I'm leaving them all in your charge. Do whatever it takes to keep them safe." Robin walked around and hugged the older woman.

"I'll take my duties seriously."

Robin left, leaving Juliet watching the surf. After several minutes she stood, "I'm going to take your advice now and go take a rest. Thank you, Kumu, for looking after me."

"You're welcome, Juliet. Sleep well."

"I think that today, I might actually sleep okay. If you don't see me beforehand, can you wake me before 9? I want to call Thomas and see how he's got on with the doctor."

"Of course."

Back at the base, Thomas was frustrated. He couldn't remember anything about what had happened, about what he'd done to Juliet. He had a hazy idea of what had happened but, by his own admission, he wasn't really sure what happened. The doctor had suggested that he didn't want to remember and Thomas, well, he kind of agreed.

He was struggling to even believe he'd attacked Juliet in the way he had. He'd never forced any woman to sleep with him and he couldn't believe he'd do something like that, especially to her. His mother had raised him well. No meant no, and someone who wasn't as strong as he was wasn't there to be attacked, but protected.

Thomas was lying on his bed in the VIP quarters, trying to remember but with no success. However, unlike the day of Juliet's attack, Thomas could remember the day in the camp all those years ago so well. They day he realised what Hannah had done. It was impressed on his memory. His mind started to feel the memory of that day.

He could see Hannah getting out of the vehicle. The hope that she'd come to pay for their rescue had bubbled inside him as he'd shouted for her. Then the betrayal, the feeling that had never fully left him since that day, had hit home. She wasn't there for them, but the fact that she knew where the camp was had explained so much. He'd spent nearly a year wondering how he'd gotten his team captured, questioning his previous actions. Had he made a mistake in the planning? Had he given a clue to his captors as to where his team was?

Then in one movement, as she'd handed money to the man who the day before had beaten his team so fiercely, he'd known. He knew she'd done it, and it was his relationship with her that had caused his team to be in so much pain.

The anger he'd felt back then, he could feel again now and, as he was lying in the VIP quarters, he had a striking vision of why he'd obviously attacked Higgins. He could feel the anger towards Hannah bubbling inside him. He hadn't felt like this since that few days in the camp. Hannah had betrayed them, Rick was sick, the Taliban had been vicious in their torture, and she was to blame.

Thomas quickly sat up, needing to remove himself from that memory. He wiped his hands over his face. If he'd woken up in that basement feeling like this, it was a miracle he hadn't killed Higgins. He thought he'd dealt with his rage, with his disgust at what she'd done. But now he'd replaced it with the disgust he felt at himself, with revulsion at the way he must have treated Juliet.

He looked himself over. God, he barely had any marks on him. She couldn't have fought back at all. He'd attacked her, disabled her, and raped her. Why the hell was she still talking to him? He had to report himself. He was a rapist and deserved to be punished.

His phone rang. Thomas looked over at his phone, sitting on top of the bedside cabinet. Could he answer it? Could he talk to her? To any of their friends? But to ignore her, to make her think she wasn't worthy of the phone being answered, that would be even worse.

Thomas lunged for the cell phone and quickly slid his finger across the screen to answer it before it stopped ringing. "Magnum," he said, his heart racing.

"Thomas? Are you okay?" Juliet asked quickly, sensing his distress.

Thomas took a deep breath to calm himself down, then quietly replied, "How can you ask me that? After what I did, how can you care?"

There were a few moments of silence. "Do you remember now?"

"No… and it's killing me. I remember the anger I must have been feeling and I know what point I was thrown back to. But the anger was just overwhelming. I could've killed you… I wanted to kill her…" Thomas could hear Juliet hitching her breath, clearly trying not to cry. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying this to you, you have enough…"

"No!" Juliet almost shouted. "I need you to talk to me."

"But why? Isn't this just hurting you even more? I can't believe I hurt you the way I did, and now..." He could hear Juliet breathing heavily.

"Thomas, last week you wouldn't have done this… Being hit, trapped, and I don't know what else made you do this… and I need to understand why. It wasn't you, at least not the you that has been out of that prison for several years. So, I need you to talk to me."

"Okay…." Thomas moved so that he was leaning back against the headboard, took a deep breath, and began to talk. "You know I told you that she'd betrayed us. You said maybe she still loved me when we saw her again last year. I don't know how she felt but I loved her. I think that's what made it so hard. The guys, my family, were being tortured every day because she'd given us up. Maybe she didn't know it would happen like it did, but she was okay with taking that risk. The anger in me… it wasn't there last week. I'd dealt with it all in Germany before I came here. Even seeing Hannah again didn't take me back to that day. I remember seeing her in the camp, then later that day Rick was sick and was then beaten up badly. It was my fault. For once they didn't do anything to me, just to him. He doesn't like it when we say it but, really, he was the weakest one of us, at least physically. TC, Nuzo, they were both built like… like barns. It always took a lot to bring them down. Me, I had SEAL training, maybe not built like them, but training goes a long way, you know.

"I do."

"Why couldn't you stop me? What did I do to you? I haven't got a scratch on me."

The questions hung in the air between them and, for the first time, he wished she was right there in front of him. He was getting good at reading her through her eyes and not seeing her was eating him up.

Juliet began quietly. "I tried… At first, I didn't realise that you didn't know me, so you had the upper hand. You… hit me... several times. I was on the floor and you were hitting me into the ground. I think I already had concussion, but the ground was hard and that didn't help. You wouldn't let me up."

Thomas could hear the tears in her voice. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. Do you want to hang up now?

"No… I need to do this with you. Tell me more about the camp."

Thomas took a deep breath and went back to telling the story of that day in prison. "I used to make our captors take their anger out on me. I'd make sure that I was the one who was punished. They didn't care which one of us suffered, so it was easy for it to be me. I'd get sent to solitary... and that's where I was when I saw her. I thought she'd come to rescue us. But she hadn't. I screamed and screamed until someone came and took me back to the guys." He paused when he heard a quiet sob but, when Juliet said nothing, he continued.

"I don't know why they agreed to my demand but they did. Maybe it was because they knew what I'd find. Rick was on the floor. He couldn't move. They'd done a real number on him. He was talking but pretty out of it. But I think what freaked me out the most was Nuzo. He was always like our big brother and he just looked numb. He couldn't help Rick and he was shutting down. All I could say to them was that it was Hannah's fault, that she was to blame. And every time I said it, I got angrier and angrier. Every time Rick winced in pain, or Nuzo looked down, or TC tried to cheer us up, I felt worse and worse and I suppose I brought them down with me. We started…"

"To plan how you'd punish Hannah," Juliet finished quietly for him.

"It was the first time that we let that place get to us…. I was so angry and we just… we just... I'm so sorry."

"I know, but we can't change what's happened, Thomas."

"I lost control that day and, because of it, I lost even more control this week. Please tell me how to make it better." Thomas started quietly weeping but, before Juliet could say anything, Thomas disconnected the call. Juliet shouldn't have to comfort him. She was the victim in all of this. He curled up on top of the bed and allowed the tears to come. Why did his mind have to go back to that day, to that particular day?


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note: I'm so sorry for the delay in this, I have been ill and off work and couldn't have written anything if I tried, so I took a step back from it. I'm still not great but this chapter is ready for you all now. Thanks for your patience. **

Chapter 14

A week had passed since the first phone call between them, and Thomas had struggled to talk to Juliet, even though he'd promised her he would. He'd been found by a nurse that first night following their phone call in such a state that the doctor had been called and he'd been sedated. The doctor had called the others and repeated his anger that his advice had not been heeded, had asked after Juliet, and strongly advised that both she and Thomas were given counselling. After struggling to speak to Juliet, Thomas had agreed but needed Juliet to agree, too. He wasn't going to force her but he did now believe it would benefit them both.

He picked up his cell and called Juliet, waiting uncertainly while it rang for quite a while before she answered.

"Hello," Juliet answered quietly.

"Higgins?" Thomas asked just as quietly. "Are you okay?"

"Just a bad night. Nightmares. You know."

He did know and he hoped this might be a lead in to trying to help her. "I know..." Thomas paused, trying to get up the confidence to say the words he wanted to. "Juliet, I've been talking to the doctor."

"Do you remember now?"

And there was the sticking point, the place in all their conversations where he had to say the same thing. "No, I want to, but the doctor thinks maybe I never will."

"Oh… I can't stop remembering today."

Sensing Juliet's distress, Thomas exclaimed, "God, Higgy! You can't forget and I can't remember. This can't possibly work."

"Stop!"

"I don't know how to stop. That's the problem! I just want to go back. I hurt you in a way that I never believed I could hurt any woman… and I can't remember."

Juliet was silent, not knowing what to say. She didn't know how to comfort Thomas when she needed comfort herself so badly.

"Higgy, I'm sorry I was focussing on me… I want to help you."

Juliet heard his plea but all she could whisper was, "It's bad today, Thomas."

She'd been sitting at her desk when Thomas had rung, desperately trying to distract herself enough that the memories of that time in the cellar would stop looping in her mind. She'd believed she could work through it, but after Robin had left, she'd felt less secure in the house. Of course, in the light of day, she knew that that fear was ridiculous - she was in a secure complex with staff, Kumu and the dogs - but in the dark, her fears multiplied. Last night she had taken a sleeping pill, the first one she'd taken since that day. She hadn't been happy with herself for that decision, and it had proven to be the wrong one. She'd dreamed of the attack several times in the few weeks since it had happened, usually able to wake herself up before the nightmares overwhelmed her, but last night, because of the sleeping tablet, she'd remained asleep and the memories had swamped her, and now she couldn't get them to stop.

"Juliet, the doctor here thinks we should go to counselling. He thinks that… if we want to have… if we want to be together… I think he's right… you need to talk..."

Juliet bristled. "I _am_ talking! I talk to Kumu… to…"

"Juliet, Kumu works for you… and the guys, well… they're guys. The doctor says they have a team here. We could talk individually or together... You could decide…"

Juliet hesitated before quietly asking, "What if I don't want to talk about it?"

Thomas paused, considering not only her question but the tone she was using. She wasn't being defensive. In fact, he thought she sounded scared. "What do you think will happen if you talk?"

Juliet thought for a moment. No one had asked her that before. She was so resistant to talking... but why? She finally whispered, "I've never done it before."

"You mean counselling?"

"At MI6 we would have de-briefings, go over the mission, talk through how it went, but we were never encouraged to talk about our feelings or how we'd been affected by the mission."

"What about when Richard was killed?" Thomas asked, half knowing the answer already.

"You know that. I became focussed on finding who killed him and got myself disavowed in the process."

Thomas paused, then quietly confirmed, "So you didn't talk to anyone?"

"No… does it work?"

The vulnerability in the question hit Thomas the most. "I think so. When we left Afghanistan, they wanted us to talk. I didn't really want to talk much but Rick did and Nuzo did. It helped them… I think."

Juliet asked the question she'd feared since the event. "What if we don't want to be together after the counselling?" She'd been in love with Thomas for months. Sure, she hid it behind distain and comments designed to put him down, but she knew. She wanted so badly to be with him that she was trying to bury this whole thing, only it wouldn't stay down.

Thomas sighed. This was the issue? This was what was stopping her talking and healing? "Higgy, you and me, we're a team, and whether that means friends, colleagues or maybe more, we decide that together. We may decide that not being together would be the best thing for both of us. What I... What I did to you isn't something we can simply get over. You're going to find it hard to see me, you might not want me to touch you, and… we've not even mentioned… well, sex. Maybe a bit of time apart would be for the best."

"I don't want that." She spoke defiantly.

Thomas wasn't really sure what to say, but he kept going. "Jules… TC told me about the catchphrase you have all used, 'one day at a time'. We both need to talk to someone, and we need to talk to each other. Then, whatever we decide, it's decided by us, together. Don't worry about tomorrow."

Juliet thought for a moment. "Okay... Do I come to the base?"

Thomas smiled sadly, pleased that she had agreed to the meeting. "I'll speak to the doctor. He can arrange it."

"Okay… Thomas, I… thanks… for calling."

"Juliet, you don't… you can't… thank me… This is my fault and I'm gonna do everything I can to help you." Thomas was appalled at the idea of her thanking him.

"It's not your fault!" Juliet raised her voice in protest.

Thomas raised his in return. "Enough, Higgins!"

Juliet gasped.

Thomas continued as if he hadn't heard Juliet. "This is part of the problem. It was _me_ in that cellar. It was _my_ hand that struck you. It was _my_ body that held you down. It was _me_ who raped you. We both have to face that."

"NO!"

"YES, Higgins. YES! We've all spent the last two weeks talking about me as the victim. I'm not the victim here, you are! You're the victim of a vicious, horrendous attack. I don't remember it but it was _me_."

"I KNOW! God, I know! I can't stop seeing you. You're over me, hitting me… in me. I can feel you all the time..." Juliet stopped abruptly and started sobbing.

Thomas felt worse but at least he was finally getting somewhere. He said quietly, "Juliet, that's the first time you've been honest about this whole thing. And that's why we need counselling." He waited, listening to her sobbing and it broke his heart. "Juliet?" he asked quietly, "Is Kumu there with you, in the house somewhere, I mean?"

Juliet turned and looked around the study, a little surprised to see Kumu actually on the landing behind her. She wiped her eyes, sniffing. "She's here."

"Good. I'm sorry I upset you, but we can't bury this. Katsumoto might not be charging me but I _am_ responsible and, if you still want to let me, I want to help you."

Juliet caught her breath and then, in between quiet sobs, said, "I want you to help me. I need us to talk together, to try and move past this… Maybe it's not as easy as I thought it could be…"

"One day at a time, Juliet. One day at a time. But, now you know that you need help, the counselling could be good for both us."

"Will you call me when its arranged?"

"Sure, if you're okay with me calling."

Juliet considered what he'd just said. Was she okay hearing from him out of the blue? She'd been the one making the calls this week... until this one. "Maybe text first, okay?"

"Whatever you want, Higgy. You decide, remember? I'll be in touch. Go spend time with Kumu and the hounds from hell and try to sleep tonight, yeah?"

Juliet smiled at the name he gave the dogs, who seemed to have heard his slur and lifted their heads from the rug they were lying on. "I'll try."

"I'll be in touch, Jules."

"Okay. Thank you, Thomas."

Thomas ended the call and stared at his cell. The conversation hadn't gone as he'd planned, but he'd finally got Juliet to admit what he knew to be true. _He_ was responsible and _he_ needed to make it right, if not by legal punishment then at least by making sure that Juliet was getting the help she needed.

**Thanks for reading, it would be great to hear what you think but no pressure. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note: Apologies for the delay in the story. I have not been well, not Corona virus thankfully, but not well. Then work got in the way of writing and I have only felt like looking at this tonight. Here is the next chapter which I hope allows you to get back into the story. **

**Previously… Thomas has finally convinced Juliet to speak to a counsellor with him. **

**Now…we see how that meeting goes. **

**Thanks for reading**

Chapter 15

Thomas was getting more nervous by the minute. He was sitting in a small counselling room that he'd already decided had serious design flaws. The first, and to his mind the worst, was the lack of a window. It was a box that reminded him of a cell in HPD headquarters. The second was the close proximity of the chairs. Three had been set out and he could already sense a problem with how close Juliet would have to be to him.

The doctor had arranged this first session. Juliet was already here, speaking to a female counsellor down the corridor. Then, if she chose, she'd come here and join him. The doctor had set it up this way so that she could choose when, and if, to join him and, he supposed, whether she did actually enter the room.

Suddenly, he could hear a commotion down the corridor as what sounded like a table flipped over and a door slammed. Given his training, it wasn't surprising that he was one of the first people to enter the dark corridor. What was surprising, however, was that he ended up with a very irate Juliet in his arms as she ran from the room she'd been in.

"Hey, Jules, calm down. What's wrong?"

Juliet whipped around in his arms. "You're here!" She then looked back at a young woman who was standing outside a room further down the corridor and yelled, "Now, was it so difficult to tell me where he was when he was right down the corridor?!"

"Higgins? What's going on?"

Juliet looked back at Thomas and he could see how upset she was. "I thought this was supposed to help! I thought I had the choice!" She took a step back, out of his arms, then wrapped her arms around herself, trying to give herself some comfort.

Thomas was worried. Juliet was looking around her wildly and his heart went out to her. "It _will _help and it _is _your choice. Tell me what happened." Thomas resisted reaching for her. The fact that she was shaking and flinching didn't bode well.

"Tell that to _her_! She wanted me to go over it, to relive it. I told her it wouldn't do any good." Juliet turned from Thomas to look back at the woman. "And it didn't! Can't you see that it didn't?!"

"Higgy, look at me," Thomas said quietly. Juliet turned and backed up against the wall, eying him warily. "Maybe talking about it has made it harder, but it _will _help."

"NO! Not on my own! All I see is _him_. All I feel is _him_."

"Me..." Thomas quietly pressed.

"NO! I know it was you but you're not that person. I can't do this on my own. I don't want to be stuck there without a way out." The tears that she had held at bay now began trailing down her cheeks. Her fingers, that had been fiddling with the hem of her shirt, reached out towards Thomas.

Thomas couldn't hold back from her anymore and he grasped her fingers and pulled her towards him.

The woman who'd been watching them carefully but hadn't wanted to interrupt, now came closer. Holding a clipboard to her chest, she carefully stated, "I don't recommend contact at this stage."

Thomas turned to her, while keeping Higgins close to his side. "What's the problem, doctor?"

"Ms Higgins needs to face this event. She needs to discuss it, to discuss the impact it has had, and she needs to move past it. She'll struggle to do that if you're constantly there."

Thomas began to let Juliet go, trying to do what the doctor wanted him to do, but Juliet held on even tighter.

Thomas tried to think what to do for the best. "Doctor, perhaps you could talk to both of us for now, help us to understand what your plan is. At least let Higgins get out of the corridor."

The doctor looked between the two, noticing the death glare that Juliet was giving her and Thomas' conciliatory look, and nodded. She guided them into the room Thomas had been in, and pointed to the chairs, inviting them to sit down. Thomas let Juliet pick the chair she wanted. Unsurprisingly, she chose the one in full sight of the door. A quick escape if she wanted one. Thomas sat down beside her, keeping his fingers linked loosely with hers.

"Mr Magnum, my name is Michelle."

"Aloha."

"As you know, Dr Duncan has filled me in on your situation. It's rather an unusual one but I hope that I can help you both. Juliet, can you explain why you left the other room?"

Juliet bristled. Having just screamed at the woman after running out of the room, and then having already explained it to Thomas, she didn't want to cover this ground again.

Thomas squeezed her fingers. "Please, Jules. Just try to tell me what happened."

Juliet deliberately turned away from the counsellor, something that didn't go un-noticed by Thomas, who worried that this counselling session could be over before it started. "I told you out there," she began scornfully, then her voice got quieter as she leaned towards Thomas and, almost whispering, said, "She wants me to talk it over… in detail…"

"That's a good thing, Higgy. Why are you so upset?"

Juliet looked down and started playing with Thomas' fingers. She followed each finger slowly and turned his hand over. "You see, I'm not worried when you're here. I can touch your hands, have you hug me… But when I think about it, I get so scared."

Thomas waited a beat for the counsellor to jump in and say something but a quick glance at her suggested that she wasn't going to. In fact, she had sat down, made herself as comfortable as you could on a plastic chair, and was beginning to take notes.

So, he focussed back on Juliet and tried to encourage her to speak to him. "Maybe you need to talk it through to make the fear go away. At least a little bit."

"She wants me to do it when you're not here. I don't want to do that."

"Well, I'm here now, so do you want to talk about it now?"

"It goes away when I'm talking to you or when you're here."

"Well… it's good that you're not scared with me, but maybe that's the best time to talk." Thomas was making it up as he went but he figured that if he said anything really wrong, the counsellor would jump in.

Juliet kept fidgeting with the hem of her shirt in one hand and Thomas' fingers in the other. "You didn't know who I was… I kept trying to tell you I wasn't her but you didn't know me."

"What did I do, Juliet?"

"We were on the ground... you were… you were holding me down…" Juliet looked up at him. "I got really mad at you." She smiled sadly. "I thought you were being an arse. It was cold and you wouldn't let me up."

"Why didn't you get up?" Thomas asked quietly. Although he'd asked the question before, he couldn't really understand why he had no injuries and she had so many.

She unconsciously reached up to touch her head and said quietly, "You pushed me down so quickly, my head slammed against the floor. You gave me a concussion."

"I'm sorry."

By this time Juliet was locked in the memory and she didn't acknowledge Thomas' apology. "You kicked me. My ribs were broken. I... I couldn't get up. You were my friend. I... I couldn't fight you. I let you do this…"

"NO!" Thomas said sharply, causing Juliet to jump slightly and pull her hand away from him.

Thomas quickly continued in a lower voice. "Higgy, you didn't let this happen. You just told me you were concussed and had broken ribs. You were on the cold concrete and couldn't get up. This was _me_, not you."

Juliet nodded, although the tears began to fall again. Thomas reached over and wiped one away with his thumb, and Juliet took his hand again. "I don't want to remember that Thomas. I only want to remember this man, you, not the one who did that to me."

Michelle interjected quietly, "They're one and the same man, Juliet, and you'll only get through this if you fully accept that."

"I don't know how… I don't want to remember him there… I just want him here, now."

Thomas again waited for the counsellor to speak and was surprised when she didn't, so he continued. "I was already there, Higgins. I was with you three weeks ago before this happened, when the dogs chased me up the beach and you were laughing. Do you remember that? I'm here after it and, God, I'm so proud of you being able to sit close to me. But I was there. It was me. You don't have to be afraid of that man. He won't come back…"

"Mr Magnum, you can't promise that…" Michelle jumped in, but Magnum kept going.

"Yes, I can. I don't fully understand why I attacked Higgins but I do know that in my mind at the time it wasn't her I was attacking. I've been alone lots of times with Jules and I've never even thought about attacking her, let alone actually doing it. Juliet knows that I could have easily taken any feelings out on my ex-girlfriend when she came to the island but I just didn't feel the anger then.

Now we know the risk, I can tell you something. There's no way our friends will let me hurt her like that again." He squeezed Juliet's fingers gently. "And then, Michelle, there are the dogs. Those hounds of hell won't let me hurt her."

"Mr Magnum…" Michele started carefully, "You had a PTSD episode caused, the doctor thinks, by a severe concussion. Is this the first concussion you've had since returning from Afghanistan?"

Thomas looked at her, slightly alarmed. "No… Wait… Are you saying this will…?"

"I don't know. No one knows for sure. The doctor believes you're unlikely to slip back to the same hallucination but…"

"I could again if concussed…"

"Have you ever had a repeat episode previously?"

Thomas considered the question seriously and looked to Juliet, who was also keen to hear his answer. "No… There've been a few times when I thought I was there… but generally I'm…" He hung his head then cleared his throat. "…beaten, I suppose, ready to give up. I know Rick and Nuzo found me one time – it was before I moved to the Nest – and my main aim that time was to give myself up. To end it all."

"But you can remember all previous episodes?" Michelle asked, still taking notes.

"Yes… even the nightmares... but yes, every episode."

"And you've never been violent in any of them?"

Again, Thomas thought for a moment. He had to be completely honest here, that much he understood. "Yes. Once. It was while we were still in Germany. I needed to find the guys and I punched a corpsman to get to them."

"Did you think the nurse was someone else?"

"I don't think so… Maybe to begin with… But after a few minutes, he was just a guy stopping me getting to my team."

Thomas could see the counsellor considering his words. "Dr Duncan has consulted with other experts in PTSD and laid out your personal experiences. He believes you're unlikely to have a repeat of this episode, but no one can guarantee that. Under normal circumstances, I believe Ms Higgins would be safe with you. But the extent to which you're alone with her, or allowed to be close to her, must remain with her. My main question for you is whether you've faced what you did to her. You need to hear the whole story, Mr Magnum. She deserves that."

Thomas again focused his whole concentration on Juliet. "I know, can you tell me, Juliet?"

Juliet twisted his fingers again and took a deep breath. "What if you look at me differently? I'm damaged..."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!" Magnum stood up, the plastic chair skittering across the floor in the tiny room.

"Mr Magnum!" Michelle stood up to face Thomas. "You have no right to tell Ms Higgins that what she feels is wrong. You may not agree with them but her feelings are important. Ms Higgins' feelings need to be acknowledged and she needs to be helped with how to deal with them. What she doesn't need is you telling her that her feelings are wrong. Ms Higgins felt powerless during the attack. You can't now take the power away from her own feelings. You, as a former POW, should understand that."

Thomas backed down. He nodded slightly to Michelle then very quietly said, "I'm sorry, Juliet." He then turned to face Juliet and saw that she'd curled herself into the foetal position on the small chair. He knelt down in front of her but made sure he didn't touch her. "I don't like you thinking of yourself that way and I really wish you didn't feel like that, but I'll listen to you and try to help you realise that that isn't how I see you."

Thomas righted his chair and sat back down. He put out his hand, inviting Higgins to once again take hold of his fingers. He made eye contact with her and smiled in encouragement.

Juliet reached out and held the tips of his fingers. "In my mind I'm not damaged, but in my nightmares, my fears, my dreams…"

Thomas gently rubbed her fingers. "Jules, dreams and nightmares are the worst…." He smiled gently at her, trying to show that he knew how bad a nightmare could be. "I think telling me will help you.

It won't change how I feel about you, except to be so proud of you and so sorry that I did this to you."

Juliet nodded and began to speak quietly, continuing to focus on Thomas' hands in hers. "I didn't think you'd do that to me… I didn't think you'd…"

"Name it," Michelle said quietly. "Don't hide from it. It can't hurt you."

Juliet nodded, took a deep breath, then whispered, "I wasn't expecting you to… to rape me." She squeezed Thomas' hand tighter, and looked at him. "Your hands have always helped people… helped me. I've seen you use weapons, swim for miles, and they brought me back to life…" Juliet paused, lost in memories, before coming back to the present. She once again looked away. "I didn't expect them to do that… You grabbed me." She reached up to her chest, to her breasts, laying her fingers where his had been. "You bruised them… You weren't tender or loving… You wanted to hurt them." Juliet looked Thomas squarely in the eyes. "You wanted to hurt me."

Magnum dropped his head, then looked back up, the tears flowing down his face like they were flowing down Juliet's. "What did I do next?" he asked quietly.

"You told me I was a liar, that I deserved to be punished. You were on top of me..." Juliet fidgeted with his fingers. "You had both of my hands in one hand and you... you ripped my T-shirt with the other. I was cold… so cold… It was so dark. I couldn't see you, but I could hear you breathing, feel it on my skin."

Juliet shivered at the memory and then retreated away from Thomas. She dropped his fingers and curled back into the chair, trying to get away from him. She cried out, "Why did you do that? Why did you have to punish us that way?" and then bolted for the door.

Thomas watched as Michelle followed Higgins, resisting everything within him to follow her. He let Juliet go because he couldn't answer her questions, he had no idea why he had needed to punish Hannah and therefore Juliet that way so he stayed and hoped that Michelle would be able to help her. They hadn't even got to the point of the actual rape before Juliet had run out the door. He sat with his head in his hands; it wasn't just Juliet who struggled to use that word. He was a rapist. Nothing he could ever do in his life could ever hope to make up for the fact that he'd done this to her.

Hearing the door open, Thomas was surprised when he looked up and saw Juliet standing in the doorway. "Hey," he said. He didn't get up and approach her, as he didn't want to scare her, but instead sat up and looked at her searchingly. "You okay?"

Juliet nodded. "I need to finish this."

"Okay..." Thomas said warily, a little unsure how to react, given her cold demeanour and the complete change from the emotion she'd shown mere minutes before.

"Do you want a couple of minutes? Maybe get some juice or coffee?"

Juliet shook her head as she waited for the counsellor to come back into the room. "No, I want to keep going. Michelle has decided that I'm stubborn but I told her you already knew that."

Thomas smiled as he nodded. "Come, sit down then."

Juliet moved past him and re-took his hand as she sat down. "I know you don't know why you did what you did. It doesn't matter really. What matters is what happened."

Thomas took a deep breath. "Yeah." He watched as Juliet twisted his fingers again. "Tell me what I did next."

Juliet looked directly at Thomas and began strongly. "You started to choke me, had your hand around my neck." Her fingers left his and trailed up her throat. "You turned my head away… Part of me was glad… I didn't want to remember your face…" Her voice then broke after being so strong when she'd started. Thomas waited patiently while Juliet struggled to get her emotions back under control, not wanting to interrupt her. He was so proud of her as she regrouped and continued.

"You ripped off my shorts, my underwear… You forced my legs open with yours. You… you were ready, I wasn't."

"Did I…" Thomas couldn't ask the stupid question that was on the tip of his tongue, 'Did I hurt you?' Of course, he had. He pleaded with his eyes for her to answer the obvious unasked question.

Juliet nodded, incapable at that moment of speaking. She took a deep breath and found her voice. "The doctor says I'll heal, but you did tear me."

"Did I…" Thomas took a breath. "Did I use protection?"

Juliet shook her head. "No."

"Oh, God… I'm clean, I promise…"

"I know. The navy released your records to Katsumoto when you were first here."

"Good." Thomas sat looking at Juliet and then his eyes widened. "What about pregnancy…"

Juliet's tears began again.

"Juliet? Higgins? What is it?"

**AN: I know a cliff hanger; I promise not to leave it too long. I hope! Stay safe and well out there. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's note: We continue with the counselling session. And more revelations. Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad people are enjoying reading this. **

Chapter 16

Juliet stood and moved to the back wall and turned her back to Thomas. God, she wished there was a window. She'd be able to look out on the island she loved, the sky, maybe even the sea. She shrugged, assuming that even if there were a window, the base wouldn't have the view that the Nest had. She looked at a large picture of the memorial in Pearl Harbour of the USS Arizona on the wall in front of her. It wasn't quite the view she was hoping for but it did focus her mind a little.

Juliet started speaking quietly. "You remember before all this, I went to the doctor?" She turned briefly to see Thomas' nod in remembrance.

"I'd been in pain, not much, but enough that I was a little worried, so I went to see my gynaecologist."

"Are you okay?" Thomas asked with concern, but Juliet was lost in her tale and all but ignored him.

"She did an exam and checked me out, said I had nothing to worry about but she was quite blunt. She told me that I was getting older and if I wanted to have my own children, I should think about doing it soon."

She turned from the wall and the picture that she had focused on to look at Thomas. "I never told you that I'd been pregnant before, did I?" Thomas shook his head.

Juliet knew he wouldn't know. No one did, or at least no one who was in her life now. "The first time I was under cover with MI6, I was to get into the life of this Russian oil magnate and his family. I was 'ordered' to have a relationship with his son." She kept eye contact with Thomas and could see his disgust at the order. "Officially, of course, I was only supposed to be around the family but they encouraged me to be more active in the relationship. Problem was, my pill medication ran out and the male MI6 contact I had didn't get me the right brand. I ended up as sick as a dog and then pregnant. Anyway, my bosses, and me, too, I suppose, were all happy when the op ended and I had a miscarriage."

She could see that the clinical way she spoke shocked both Thomas and the counsellor but this was who she was. She hadn't wanted to be pregnant and, to her relief, she no longer was. That miscarriage hadn't troubled her.

"I was pregnant again…" Juliet continued, this time not as clinical. She took a deep breath. "Did you ever wonder why Richard and I were going to leave MI6?" she asked Thomas and waited for his answer.

"I just figured you'd had enough of the spy world, the missions, the danger."

"I did, but not for myself. We'd decided to start a family, only I got pregnant quicker than we'd planned. Richard was so excited about it. We were going to settle somewhere, maybe in England, maybe not. And then he did one last mission… and you know how that went." Juliet stopped speaking, the memory of that time overwhelming her. She wiped away the tears that had filled her eyes. "I was so focused on finding his killer that I didn't take care of us. My baby… our baby... died. They said it wasn't my fault but I think if I'd just taken more time to look after it, maybe it would still be here. A little bit of us..." Her voice broke as she could no longer hold on to the tears.

"Jules… I'm so sorry. You've been through so much."

Juliet pulled herself together. "So, when my doctor told me I should get on with having a baby, I decided to put some real thought into it. I came back to the house and you and TC were arguing over something on the lawn. You were throwing a football at each other every time one of you argued the point, so it was good natured and, to be honest, quite mesmerising, like sitting watching a tennis match."

Thomas looked at Juliet, a little confused. She seemed to be jumping through topics that weren't connected.

Juliet caught his eye, she could see the confusion in them. She supposed that it was unsurprising he was confused but it would all lead to the answer to his question. He just needed to know the background. So, she continued.

"Over the next couple of nights, I had several dreams. I'm sure Michelle here could rationalise them as not being portents of the future but rather as a jumbled consciousness working itself out but, oh, they were so vivid. We were at the Nest, all of us. The guys, Kumu, you and me. We were playing football, TC teaching us how to pass the ball. It all started with just us but in every dream, there were children. Sometimes a girl, mischievous, blonde, but with your colouring. Sometimes a boy, running in and out of the sea, chasing the dogs. He had brown hair..." She got caught up a little in the memory, then shook her head before continuing.

"But, you see, the main point was that they were ours… mine and yours and… they were amazing." Juliet turned to look at Thomas again. She took a deep breath, "I've been falling in love with you for a while and I suppose at that time it seemed the right thing to do to stop taking the pill. I wasn't going to force you but I was willing to start considering being with you… if you wanted.

"Then all this happened and… they had my records from when I was in hospital before, they knew I'd been prescribed the pill. I let them believe I was still taking it… they offered me a morning after one but I didn't take it, either. I took a test yesterday and… yes, its early days but I'm pregnant."

Thomas had sat almost stuck to his seat while Juliet had told her story. He'd been unsure as to why she was telling him everything, but now he knew. He had not only attacked her, but he'd hurt her and he'd gotten her pregnant. He had no idea what to say now.

"Higgins… Juliet…"

"I know I haven't given you any choice in this..."

"You didn't give ME choice?!" Thomas exploded. "Higgins, I did this to _you_! You didn't ask for this. You don't have to do this." He stood up because he could do nothing else.

"Yes, I do!" Juliet shouted back. "I have to do this, because maybe this is how it was supposed to be..."

"No, Juliet, NO! This is not how a family is supposed to be made." He backed away from her, as much as the small room allowed. "Is this why you keep saying that it wasn't really me… Are you trying to rationalise a baby in this situation?"

"No," she answered quietly, "I know it was you. What I also know is that right now there's also a baby. I spoke to the doctor yesterday. She said to not get too attached. Given the circumstances, a miscarriage could be a distinct possibility."

Thomas stared at her. Again, the clinical way she spoke worried him. "Higgy, you have to stop switching your emotions on and off."

"I don't know how to do anything else."

The silence in the room was becoming deafening. Michelle, whom both Thomas and Juliet had almost forgotten was there, cleared her throat and both of them turned to face her.

"Mr Magnum, Ms Higgins… I can safely say your situation is, in many ways, completely unique. However, we were here originally to discuss and begin to allow Ms Higgins the chance to emotionally heal. I think to help you come to terms with the whole event, including this recent information, we need to finish discussing the attack."

"Can you stop calling me Ms Higgins? You're driving me a little crazy. My employees call me that. In the last hour, you've found out more about me than my closest friends. Can you go back to calling me Juliet?"

Michelle smiled. "I can, but only if it makes you comfortable… Juliet."

"Thank you."

"Okay, Juliet and… Thomas?" She looked at Thomas, who acknowledged the name change and let her continue. "Hearing how you attacked her, do you want to say anything or ask anything?"

Thomas sat back on the chair, folded his arms, and closed his eyes. His mind was a complete whirl but he owed it to Juliet to focus on this. "I feel… horrendous… disgusting… guilty… I want to be punished… I want to go back in time… I want to make her tell the police to arrest me… I want to hold her so tightly and take away all her pain… I want to know all the details but I don't want her to remember." Thomas opened his eyes and saw that Juliet was reaching for his hand again, so this time he took her fingers in his and gently began to massage them but he never took hold of her hand too tightly in case she wanted to pull away. "I love you but I don't know if we can get past this… I can picture the family scene on the beach and want it so much but I have no idea how to get there."

Juliet smiled sadly. "One day at a time, Thomas, remember?"

Thomas nodded. "Can you tell me what happened after I…" He took a deep breath. He could say this, he could own this. "After I... raped you?"

Juliet nodded, grasping his fingers again, something that didn't go unnoticed by the counsellor. "You... you came inside me… You took your hand off my neck and then you punched me. It was hard, it hurt, my head knocked off the concrete, and I was unconscious."

Thomas reached up slowly and ran his finger along the fading bruise on her face. "Do you know how long you were out? Did I attack you again when you were unconscious?"

"I don't know how long. I don't think you raped me again… You were really out of it when I came to. You wanted Hannah to be arrested by the FBI or the CIA, I'm not sure which. You were quite confused. You were getting angrier and angrier. You punched and kicked me again. I think if TC and Rick hadn't turned up then you might've continued and maybe would have… raped me again. But they did turn up then."

Thomas hung his head, very grateful for his friends but utterly ashamed that his anger had done this to Juliet.

"Did I recognise them when they got there?"

"Yes… but you thought they were in prison, too, and you got really wild when you couldn't find Nuzo."

"I think the same thing happened when I came out of it here… I'm so sorry, Higgy. I still don't remember anything about the attack. I don't remember anything from the time we got that case to waking up on the floor here with the guys. I don't know what else to say, but I'm sorry. I don't know how to deal with this." Thomas went back to looking at her fingers, trying to find absolution in her touch.

Michelle let the silence continue as she watched them both get absorbed in holding hands. Eventually she spoke. "To be honest, Thomas, you're taking the first steps to dealing with it." They both looked over at her, waiting for her to continue. "You've both come here and been very honest with each other. Thomas, you've accepted that you raped your friend. You've understood that this is something you should be punished for, and you're willing to accept that." Thomas flicked his gaze to Michelle and nodded.

Juliet was about to jump in and disagree with the counsellor's statement but Michelle waved her hand to stop her. "You, Juliet, need to accept that what he did was something that wasn't natural, wasn't asked for, and shouldn't have happened. Whether you go on to have the baby that was created or if, as your doctor has indicated, the trauma leads to another miscarriage, none of this was your fault. Thomas did do this to you. You've stated at several points in your earlier statements that it wasn't him but it was. He raped you."

Juliet looked back to Thomas and, reluctantly, nodded her agreement.

Michelle continued, "It's likely that this event will haunt both your dreams and affect your lives for many years to come. But I've watched you here. You've both shown that you're able to work together to get through this. Despite my initial concerns about you working through this together, it's clear you're a unit and do work better together." She took a breath, deciding that this session should come to an end.

"It's very rare for me to be counselling people in this situation. I've spoken to both men and women who've been attacked, and those who've done the attacking, but never like this. The fact that this was a PTSD episode is one thing, but the fact that you both seem to want to be together more now than you did before the attack is, quite frankly, a surprise. I can't tell you what to think or feel. You're both capable of discerning your own emotions and feelings for each other. I'd recommend you come to see me again but I also feel you should start to live your lives again."

Michelle turned and focussed on Thomas. "You're not going to be punished by the authorities but, for you, I believe that will make things quite difficult. As a member of the armed forces, you respect discipline and I suspect that not being punished will be harder for you than if you were to be imprisoned."

She turned to Juliet. "However, since your memories of the event are always with you, it's good that Thomas has something to wrestle with, as well. It will remind him that you can't escape the memories and that, whether you like it or not, everything has now changed for you. For both of you."

Michelle sat back. "It's my recommendation that you, Thomas, be released from here. However, whether you move back to the estate or not is for Juliet to decide, alone, with no pressure from anyone. However, I'd recommend that you both take your relationship slowly. You need to both discuss physical boundaries and what you're willing to accept from each other. Juliet, you, in particular, will need to tell Thomas what you want and what you don't want, and to guide him. Although most women don't like revealing a pregnancy until they're further along, I'd recommend that you tell your friends what's going on. Whether you go to term or not, you'll need their help."

Juliet took a calming breath after listening to the counsellor's recommendations. "I'd like Thomas to come to the estate to visit." She then looked at Thomas. "Maybe you could stay with Rick or TC for a bit, then maybe you could all move in for a while, so that I knew there was always another person there. What do you think?"

"I think I'll do anything you want. Like she said, you control this. Weeks, months... heck, years... Whatever you want."

"What about the baby?" Juliet asked quietly.

"I'll support you in whatever way you want. If everything's okay and this baby comes, I promise you I'll be there for you. I'll help you and I'll love you and love our baby so much. But, if something happens, I'll also support you. This won't be your fault and, if you still want me, I'll make as many babies as you want with you."

Juliet nodded and could feel the tears falling freely down her cheeks. Thomas had been right; counselling _had _been the right thing to do.

**AN: This is not the end. There is at least one epilogue. However, some comments from Star have made me consider a second epilogue. It is not written, but chapter 17 is and is just getting a final polish. I'll see how lockdown goes; I might get inspiration for chapter 18 too. **


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: Hi everyone, so sorry for the delay in this, my beta has been unwell and I wanted her to go over this before posting. This is the last chapter I had written originally, although there may be another. Would be lovely to hear what you think. **

Chapter 17

Epilogue

Thomas was driving the Ferrari more sedately than he normally did when travelling across the island. He was driving Juliet back to the Nest, having accompanied her to her latest pre-natal appointment at the hospital. She was now at 28 weeks and, at least with the pregnancy, all was well.

Juliet was silently fuming in the passenger seat. She was warm. No, scratch that, she was boiling. It was mid-summer and she was on a tropical island. And, to make it worse, she'd made a general comment about feeling like a whale and the complete oaf beside her hadn't responded appropriately. So, now she was angry. Completely, slightly insanely, angry.

"You didn't have to agree with me!" Juliet fumed.

"I didn't!" Thomas raised his hand off the wheel as if in surrender, and tried to make eye contact while not losing his concentration on the road. "I told you, you looked gorgeous."

His statement didn't mollify Juliet. "But you didn't refute my assessment of looking like a whale!"

Thomas held his tongue this time. He knew, from recent experience, that if he spoke at all it would be the wrong thing. They'd had several moments in the last six months where he hadn't known what to say.

During pregnancy, a normal couple could have a little laugh about the woman's increasing size, the whole condition of being pregnant, the kicks and the cravings. However, he and Juliet had too much baggage, for want of a better word, for that. She couldn't casually 'blame him' for her condition during an argument because he _was_ at fault, much more than any other man. He couldn't spontaneously, affectionately, touch her or feel the baby move because they weren't at that point yet. At times, both of them felt like they were on eggshells and sometimes emotions would get the better of them and tempers, particularly Juliet's, could flare.

Today had been a good day, though. Well, apart from the whale comment. They'd both been very excited and now they had a scan of the baby and picture to take home and show the family. It had taken all of their strength and determination to get to this point, though, Thomas mused.

Things had been touch and go with the pregnancy in the early months. Juliet had had a couple of episodes of spotting, and had then been hospitalised to stabilise her after serious morning sickness. That, annoyingly for her, seemed to come at all points in the day, except for mornings. Rick had surmised that it was to do with the fact that she was English and her body was working in a different time zone. Juliet had scoffed at that suggestion but, as the rest of her family monitored her constant illness, they came to see that if they worked to Greenwich Mean Time, they could predict her schedule. Not that they let her know they were keeping such a close eye on her but it had been true.

After their first counselling session, they had followed Michelle's advice by talking to each other and trying to work out boundaries but had quickly realised that her concerns for them were well founded. They had struggled to be comfortable around each other, and veered on a day-to-day basis from sometimes forgetting there was an issue to feeling their situation was insurmountable.

When he'd been released from the base, Thomas had moved in with TC and Rick had moved into the guest house at Robin's Nest. Juliet had continued to have significant nightmares and felt safer when one of the guys was with her. Rick seemed to fit the bill as he'd the experience of going through counselling and had slightly more torture demons from their captivity than the others. For Juliet, that made him easier to talk to. It had been difficult for all of them, and Juliet had taken to confiding in Rick and not in Thomas and, at one counselling session, Michelle had pointed out that while she had every right to talk to whoever she wished, she should perhaps make a decision about whether it was sensible to keep trying for a relationship with Thomas if she couldn't talk to him.

After some consideration, Juliet decided that she enjoyed talking to Rick and getting his perspective on how she was feeling, but that she needed to re-learn how to talk to Thomas so, when she and Rick talked, they would Facetime Thomas during the conversation and include him in their discussions. It had worked well. At the start of the call, Rick would summarise any nightmare or fears Juliet had had and a decision would be made about the role Thomas would play in the call. Sometimes Juliet just wanted him to listen, something Thomas found difficult but always followed her lead. Other times, she needed his reassurance that the man in the dreams wasn't real, or would never be back. Slowly her nightmares were decreasing and were replaced by dreams of the family. Dreams of babies, of fun, of a life at the Nest that all of them were hopeful would come.

At her twelve-week scan, the whole group had accompanied them to the hospital. Juliet had been uncomfortable lying on the bed while slightly uncovered if Thomas was going to be there, so had asked Kumu to accompany her into the room instead. The guys had waited outside with Thomas. The scan had shown all was well with the baby and the small picture had been treasured by all of them. However, the reality of the baby coming had a negative impact on Thomas, who had begun to retreat from the family he knew that he didn't deserve.

It had been Michelle who had worked out the problem. As she had predicted, it was the lack of punishment that was eating up Thomas. The counsellor had tried to talk to both Thomas and Juliet but as yet with no resolution for this particular part of their issues. She had spoken to Doctor Duncan and then to Detective Katsumoto. After finally asking for a meeting with Thomas, Juliet and their friends, it had been Juliet who had found the solution – a court martial. Then, in a rapid move, without fully consulting the others, she had gone and spoken to Captain Greene and made an official statement to the Navy that meant that the Captain had had no choice but to court martial Thomas.

Captain Greene, for his part, had been slightly shocked at the request but had begun proceedings and followed the protocol he would have done for any case. Firstly, he activated Thomas' reservist status so he could be interviewed under the UCMJ. He then had him arrested and statements taken from Juliet, Rick, the civilian doctor, the counsellor and Doctor Duncan. He assured Juliet that the court would have full authority to dispense justice and would not have himself or any senior officer who was known to Magnum on the panel.

It had been a fairly traumatic process for all of them, but one that had been needed. The hearing had been in private, for Juliet's sake given the nature of the offence. Thomas had, with almost relief, pleaded guilty and the three senior officers had listened to Doctor Duncan, Rick and TC as they explained both the PTSD Thomas suffered and this particular episode.

While all of the family had been unsure of whether Juliet had made the correct decision, she was absolutely resolute that this was the only way. No matter what she said in their follow-up counselling sessions, Thomas, quite rightly, knew he'd done something wrong. The excuse of his lack of memory and the PTSD argument that Juliet made gave him no comfort. He had been the perpetrator of the crime and she'd realised that he needed to shoulder the blame, so she allowed him. She had no idea how it would play out but she was finally willing to admit that, in order for them to have a life together, Thomas had to face his peers with his crime. She just hoped he wouldn't be imprisoned because of her.

After two days of listening and deliberating, the senior officers had come to a verdict. They'd reduced his rank and any reservist pay for a year. They had given him labour duty on board one of the carriers based at Pearl Harbour and sent him on mandatory training and more PTSD counselling. However, like Katsumoto had predicted several months earlier, they didn't consider prison to be the appropriate punishment. It would, however, remain on his military record, which for a proud man like Magnum was a fitting punishment.

At the end of the proceedings, Thomas had welcomed the punishment laid down and it allowed him to acknowledge the event in a way that he hadn't been able to before. There was a little confusion on the faces of the Admiral and two Commanders when Thomas was invited into a hug from Juliet, the victim. Although their friendship had been alluded to in the hearing, the officers hadn't been aware of the relationship developing or of Juliet's pregnancy.

The hearing had been completed by about Juliet's seventeenth week and at her twenty-week scan, things between them had moved forward. She and Thomas had spent more time together, never alone, but in a variety of different situations. Thomas had been invited to the Nest more, and often spent afternoons between cases and his ship duties talking with her while sitting under the gazebo. So, for her twenty-week scan, both Kumu and Thomas had been in the room. Juliet had changed behind a curtain and then allowed Thomas to be beside her, holding her hand. Both had been delighted to see the shape of their baby on the screen and Thomas had been overcome with the emotion of hearing the heartbeat.

Today, eight weeks later, had been a big day. They got a 3D scan done, a coloured picture produced and, if they made it back to the house without further argument, Juliet had asked him to move back into the guest house.

Thomas took a deep breath, hoping to put the whale issue to rest. "Okay… we've had an honesty policy this whole time so, to be clear, yes, you are larger than when I met you, however you look pregnant and not like a whale. In fact, as I clearly said in the clinic, you're absolutely beautiful. You may feel huge and I know you're hot and feel uncomfortable but, to me, you are the most amazing person I know and I love you."

Juliet sniffed beside him. "I think you must be taking classes from Michelle. You always know what to say."

Thomas took hold of her fingers. "No, I don't, but every time we have a conversation, I do remember what she tells me in our sessions and I try to say the right thing because you're so important to me."

They pulled up to the estate gate and Thomas typed in his code. Just as they parked, the dogs bounded up to the car and lavished Juliet with loving attention while giving Thomas the occasional growl. She turned from the dogs to face him. "Are we going to tell them that we know the sex?"

Thomas smiled. He was happy they'd got the information from the doctor as it was going to make the final couple of months of planning so much easier. "Well, you know Kumu is desperate to knit something and Rick wants to know what colours to buy for the nursery room, not to mention Robin and TC have a decent bet going, so yeah, I'd like to tell them, if it's okay with you?"

Juliet took the picture out of her bag. "I suppose they're gonna get their answer pretty quickly when they look at this." She smiled at the image that was clearly of a boy.

"They will." Thomas nodded towards the door behind her. All three of their friends had gathered, waiting for them to get out of the car.

Juliet opened her door and allowed TC to help her up. Kumu spotted the picture in her hand and reached out to see if she could get a quick glance. Juliet indulged the older woman and handed it over.

"Oh, my. Isn't he a beautiful boy."

"Yes!" TC shouted, punching the air. "Wait till I tell Robin. I won!"

Juliet smiled at her friend's antics. She hadn't been aware which way the bet had gone. It was probably for the best. TC needed the money more than Robin.

The group made their way into the main house with everyone trying to get a look at the picture in Kumu's hand.

"Everything's okay, isn't it?" Rick asked, anxiety etched in his face.

"Yes, everything's fine." Thomas said, while trying to distract the hounds of hell from attacking him.

"I have about ten weeks left, the doctor believes."

"He's going to come a little early then?" Kumu asked.

"They think so, but said that could change. She wants to see me again in about 6 weeks and I have to start the pre-natal classes next week. Thomas is coming but I thought maybe…"

"Group breathing tests. I'd be up for that," Rick finished the sentence, looking at TC to check he was game.

TC got Juliet settled in the main room and nodded back to Rick. "It'll be like basic training all over again," he quipped.

Kumu was still looking at the photo. "Look at those strong arms and legs. Oh, you can even see his fingers! It's incredible."

TC moved from Juliet to look at the picture. "He's going to make a good football player with those legs."

"Please, he'll be playing proper football and rugby, not your miss mash affair!" Juliet called out from her seat.

"Oh, hell no!" TC stated. "Not when I'm the football coach around here."

Juliet glared at him and Thomas found himself in the middle between the two. He looked from one to the other, then moved towards Juliet. "Sorry, buddy, she gets to decide this. She's the one doing the heavy lifting at the moment."

Thomas sat down on the arm of the chair and took Juliet's hand in his. She moved it slowly towards her protruding stomach. "Maybe he's going to be a boxer," she said gently as she moved his hand to where the baby was punching her.

"He's strong," Thomas said in awe, delighting in the fact that she had initiated the contact.

"Are you still moving back in today?" Juliet asked quietly.

"Yes, we all are." He looked over at his friends. Thomas and TC were going to be in the guesthouse while Rick was moving into the main house. No one knew how Thomas' presence would affect Juliet as sometimes, on days when they spent more time together, her nightmares were worse. In fact, one of the worst had been a couple of nights earlier, when they'd accidently fallen asleep on the sofa together.

Kumu arrived back from the kitchen with cold drinks for everyone, interrupting Thomas' musings. "The rooms are all set up for you all. But this isn't to be some kind of frat house or bachelor pad. Juliet needs her rest and peace."

A chorus of "yes, ma'ams" were heard around the room.

"Good. Now, onto more important things. Have you thought of any names for this little one?" Kumu asked.

Thomas looked at Juliet, who nodded her acceptance, before answering. "Well, we have. We wanted a combination of names from the people who mean the most to us. Juliet wanted to remember Richard, and we considered that or an abbreviation with Rick, but we didn't want to pick just one of our friends. So, we talked about the letter R, for Richard, you," he said as he pointed at Rick, "And Robin, since it was his romantic meddling that brought us both here. Then, we had to consider what name would go with either of our surnames. We decided to go for Robbie, Robbie Cal, for you TC. Whether Higgins or Magnum, that's still up for debate."

"I like it," TC agreed. "He's gonna be named after some great uncles."

"Me, too," Rick stated. "Anything's better than Orville Wright, isn't it?"

They all smiled at that.

Thomas glanced around at his friends and realised for the first time in over seven months that maybe he was actually out of the pit now. Michelle had spoken true; none of them would be the same after what he'd done. He felt more at peace following the trial but that never took away from what he'd done to his best friend. He didn't know what the future would bring, it could be that Juliet would never want to be intimate with him again, and he was completely fine with that. She was in control; it was only right after he'd robbed her of that. But they would be together, they would be a family, of that he was sure. He looked back down at her and caught her eye.

Juliet smiled at Thomas and pulled his hand gently to encourage him to sit on the sofa beside her. He slid down, never touching her and allowing her to move towards him. She loved him. Right now she couldn't show him how much and his presence could still unnerve her a little, but they'd be together, they'd be a family, of that she was sure. So, she smiled at him, glad that they'd got this far and had both come out of the pit together.


	18. Chapter 18

**Here is the final, but not totally planned, chapter. This is totally for Star, who in one of their reviews asked for this scene. I hadn't written it at that point but I hope it finishes the story well. I'd like to thank those who have reviewed and followed, especially Star, who reviewed every chapter knowing that others perhaps wouldn't given the topic of the story. You have really kept me going but because you are only registered as a guest I can't reply to you, so your thanks have to be public. It would be great to hear from anyone about the story. It has been interesting to write and I hope I dealt with the topic sensitively. Thanks for your support.**

Chapter 18

Juliet stretched her whole body gently as she lay on the large sofa in the living area of the Nest. She was very grateful that this sofa was huge because it meant she could partake in her current favourite activity – lying beside Thomas. He was asleep at the moment and she was taking the chance to just look at him. He had moved into the main house just before the baby had been born and Juliet enjoyed being a family with him.

She had given birth to Robbie nearly four months ago and found being a mum was a bit of a whirlwind. Their little boy was exactly as she'd pictured in her dreams – he had his father's colouring but, at the moment, had thick, dark blond hair like hers. People told her that that would change but right now she was very happy that in Robbie she could see both of them.

However, their son was not on her mind tonight. At Michelle's suggestion, from week one, Robbie had spent one night with his uncles or Kumu. Juliet had fought in the beginning until Michelle had explained her reasoning.

"You're in a very strange situation, Juliet. It would be very easy for you to get buried in diapers and feeding schedules. I worry that the progress you and Thomas have made will disappear if you end up not taking the time to stay connected."

So, reluctantly, Juliet had watched that first week as Thomas had taken their little boy in his carry seat to the guest house, with a bag complete with expressed milk in bottles, diapers and, well, nearly enough for a two-week stay. She'd known that Rick and TC would take amazing care of the little boy but she hadn't quite managed the whole night the first time. The boys had actually bet on how long Robbie would remain in the guest house. Juliet had survived a nice meal with Thomas, conversation, a good movie – nearly 5 hours – but that had been all. By midnight, and on hearing the baby crying, she'd been out of the main house and on her way to the guest house before Thomas, sleeping in his own room, had realised she was gone. In fact, it had been Zeus and Apollo that had awoken Thomas and helped him be out the house and almost catching her before she let herself into the guest house, walked over to TC, and took the baby from him.

Juliet chose not to notice when Thomas had had to hand over money to both Rick and TC, as he'd obviously lost the bet, and no one made any comment when mother and baby spent the rest of the night together in the main house. But, the second week, she'd managed the whole night and that routine had continued until tonight, their thirteenth date.

Juliet and Thomas had enjoyed a meal together then gone for a walk along the beach with the dogs. Zeus and Apollo appeared to have thawed their attitude to Thomas, at least slightly. They took their protection duties seriously where she or Robbie were concerned but the fact that Juliet allowed Thomas to interact with both of them on quite an intimate level had mellowed the lads towards their former nemesis.

Now Juliet was lying with Thomas on the sofa, simply enjoying watching him, mapping his face in her mind so that she could see this Thomas and not the other one. The work they'd done together with Michelle and the time they'd spent together had made Juliet far calmer around Thomas. She could be close to him when he was awake and now even when he was asleep but there was still one point in time where she still felt nervous. The point where he'd wake up.

'That point between sleep and awake.' Yes, Juliet smiled to herself, that's how Tinkerbell had phrased it in one of her favourite movies – Hook. It was that point that still concerned her, still worried her, wondering about which Thomas would wake up next to her. So, it had taken awhile for her to actually allow herself to lie like this. But she loved it. Tonight, she was considering taking the next step with him. Well, her body was. Her gynaecologist had warned her that a few months after giving birth she would want to have sex and her hormones would get to the point of demanding it. Well, her body was now demanding it. She wasn't taking the step lightly, but she felt it was time. Okay, so her body thought it was time and she just had to keep her mind on that same page and it would be fine – yes.

Juliet sighed and went back to observing Thomas. She was getting a little edgy, though, and knew it was time to wake him up so that the Thomas she knew was there would appear. She was lying on her left side and he was facing her on his right side, and she used her left hand that was on the pillow beside his head to gently run her fingers through his hair. She smiled as he subconsciously acted just as the lads would, pushing his head into her palm to get more attention. Slowly he awoke and he blinked his eyes, smiling at her.

"Hi," he said quietly. "Sorry I fell asleep on you."

"It's fine." Juliet smiled back, the vague nervousness she'd felt had dissipated on seeing his smile and hearing his voice. She leaned in closer to him and gently kissed him. Thomas had continued to treat her well and had never pushed any contact she made, so again he let her set the pace of the kiss. However, given how her hormones were working, she pushed a little further than she had before. She could sense the point where she had gone further as Thomas pulled back a little and ended the kiss.

"You okay?" he asked with concern.

"Yeah, I'm good. You okay if we keep going a little more?"

Thomas smiled at her. "Of course. You lead the way." He smiled languidly and let Juliet continue to kiss him. But then he broke the kiss again, as he was trying to work out what to do with his hands. They'd kissed many times before but this seemed different to him, so he wanted to check that he was doing what she wanted. He moved his free hand to the bottom of her top and ran his fingers along the skin above her trousers. "This okay?" he asked when she shivered under his hand.

"Yeah… I want… I want… you!"

Thomas kept his hand where it was but leaned back away from her. "You want to sleep with me?" Thomas had learned the hard way that he had to bluntly ask what she wanted or sometimes he'd get it wrong. He watched as Juliet blushed and averted her eyes.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. I've wanted you for a long time and, if you're now okay with that, it's nothing to run away from."

Juliet smiled. "I love you, and I really want to be with you, but I don't know if it's just the hormones or if I actually want to do this."

"You want to keep... uh… going… here?" Thomas asked.

Juliet shook her head. "No, I want to go to bed." She pecked his lips again and got up. "Are you coming?" she asked as she moved towards the door, laughing as Thomas nearly fell over himself to follow her. She stopped with a groan when she got to the bottom of the stairs, and looked at her top and the tell-tale signs that she really had another task to do before she could let her body do anything else.

"What's wrong?" Thomas asked, coming up behind her. Juliet caught his eye and then pointed to her top. Thomas smirked and then held her loosely around the waist. He wasn't embarrassed about the fact that her breasts were leaking. Over the last few weeks, he'd watched her both breast feed and express milk. It was the way she kept their little boy alive and that was amazing, not embarrassing. "How about you go and deal with that while I go check the lads and the doors. You know, be the security consultant I'm supposed to be. And then I'll see you upstairs."

Juliet smiled. For so long in her mind he'd been a bachelor playing the field. But now here he was, making her comfortable even when her body was acting up and pausing their plans. "Okay, come up to my room." She moved out of Thomas' embrace and headed for her bathroom.

Thomas took a deep breath. He hadn't expected this to happen tonight and he really didn't want to screw it up. He'd been sensible and had had independent counselling with Michelle on how to approach this night. He was aware that if their relationship was to be physical, then they had to get through the first time. Michelle had been really helpful and had allowed him to talk through how he might make Juliet comfortable and in control, and to always talk to her. Those conversations with Michelle had been cringeworthy to begin with but, as the sessions had gone by, he'd valued her opinions and hoped that he could allow her advice to stay in his mind as the night wore on. He moved around the ground floor, checked on the lads, and received the customary growl from both of them. He then checked the security system, not because it was needed, but he wanted to give Juliet time and privacy to finish.

Thinking that he'd given Juliet enough time to get ready, Thomas made his way to the upper floor and to her room. Again, it wasn't the first time he'd been in the room. They'd kept Robbie there for a month or two and often one or other of the boys would be there with Juliet and Robbie when they napped.

After knocking on the door but getting no reply, Thomas slowly opened the door and entered the room. Juliet's lack of response was explained when he heard the machine still working in the en suite, and he smirked. He found the machine quite amusing, in particular Rick's reaction to it the first time he'd worked out what it was. He didn't think he'd ever seen Rick run from anything so quickly. It was as if it were an IED and was about to explode. He smiled, remembering Rick's reaction, as he walked around the room and pulled the curtains, lit a few of the candles Juliet had on the shelves, pulled back the covers, and then sat down on the bed, waiting.

He didn't have to wait long. He heard the machine shut off and shortly thereafter Juliet arrived with two bottles and put them in the small fridge she kept beside her bed for just that purpose.

Thomas opened his legs, took Juliet's hand, and pulled her gently towards him. "Before we start, you know you're in charge of this." Juliet nodded. "We do what you want, we start when you want, and we stop when you want. I want this to be the best it can be for you and, if we go all the way, that will be amazing, but it will also be amazing if we just lie here together and go to sleep, okay?"

Juliet smiled. She was so in love with Thomas and he kept saying the right things. Using both her hands she ran her fingers through his hair. "I love you, but I want you to be happy, too. This first time could be awkward and might not be the perfect time we want, but I'm ready to have this experience with you." She leaned down and kissed him sweetly then stood tall again.

"It's not going be awkward, Higgy. It's going to be you and me, and that will be amazing." Thomas pulled Juliet closer. "However, it's going to be a conversation. You need to talk to me, tell me what you want, what you're enjoying, and I'll do the same. You also need to tell me if you're uncomfortable, or if you want to stop. Okay?" When Juliet simply nodded, Thomas pushed her slightly away from him and stood up. "What do you want first?"

Juliet, while not someone who was shy in her sexuality, had never been someone who discussed it or asked. She usually just… well... followed. She wasn't sure she could talk all the way through, so started with a little action. She reached for the bottom of Thomas' shirt and slowly pulled it up over his head. She took the time to let her fingers run over his torso, learning what areas were ticklish or caused a reaction in him. She was pleased to get a real reaction when she ran her nails over his nipples.

Thomas practically jumped back from her. "God, Higgy! It's a good job the Taliban didn't have you. I might have given up all my secrets."

Juliet smiled smugly. "Well, you have to remember that I was trained by MI6."

Thomas reached for her shirt. "You okay if I do the same?" Juliet nodded and Thomas kissed her while allowing his hands to roam under her shirt. Within a few minutes he had it off and was trying to work the clasps on her maternity bra. After swearing, which had caused Juliet to start giggling, he threw up his hands. "I give up! It's a torture device designed to stop women getting pregnant again." He quickly pulled his hands away from her when he'd realised what he'd said, and looked in Juliet's eyes. "Jules, I wasn't expecting tonight. I don't have any protection with me."

Juliet smiled and went over to her bedside table and pulled out a small box. "The doctor gave me some at the checkup last week."

"Okay… So, we're really doing this." Thomas's voice gave away his nervousness at the situation.

Juliet turned further towards him, understanding that if this was going to work, she'd actually have to take control of the situation. "Lie down, Thomas." He did what she asked. She moved over to him and kissed him, allowing her hands to move over his body. She could see by his trousers that he was getting more aroused and it made her enjoy herself more, something she hadn't been sure would be her reaction. She reached behind herself to remove the bra that Thomas had struggled with, and encouraged him to touch her.

As time went on, Juliet removed Thomas' clothes and hers, allowing them both to take their time learning how to touch each other. Finally, it was time. Thomas had ensured that she was ready to take him and he was now just seeking clarification that she was still okay to go ahead.

Juliet helped Thomas put on the protection she'd given him, causing him to have to seriously dredge up every ounce of self-control that the Seals had taught him. Juliet had decided she wanted to be side by side with him. Actually, what she craved was for him to be on top of her but she didn't think her mind could cope with the surrender that would be involved in that position, so she had settled for this one. It was a little awkward, but she felt comfortable, so that was enough for Thomas.

"I love you so much," Thomas whispered as he gently entered her. Juliet baulked a little at the intrusion but Thomas stroked her cheek and encouraged her to open her eyes and to relax. "Tell me to stop and I will." He held her gaze.

"I don't want you to stop." Juliet reached around to his back and pulled him towards her.

They worked together, each striving to reach their point of no return. Thomas, keeping an eye on Juliet, made sure she fell over the peak first and then allowed himself to follow her. Panting, he slowly kissed her and pulled out of her. "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned at the tears forming at the side of her eyes.

Juliet opened her eyes and smiled a watery smile. "Okay? I'm way better than okay. Thank you for taking care of me." She was starting to shiver a little bit, the sheen of sweat on her was catching the breeze coming through the window.

Thomas got up off the bed to get rid of the condom. He pulled the cover up from the bottom of the bed and made sure she was warm enough, then went to the bathroom. On returning, he was prepared to go to his own room but, as he grabbed his shirt, Juliet grabbed his wrist.

"Stay… please."

Thomas sat down on the bed beside her. "Are you sure? I know sleeping and waking up beside me still makes you nervous."

"It won't go away if I keep running from you."

"You're not running, Jules. You're protecting yourself."

"But, you see, the more I allow my mind to believe I need protection, the less likely I am to let you in. I need to try and we can see how it goes. Stay."

Thomas nodded. This had always been up to Juliet and he'd do whatever she asked. He slid under the covers on the other side of the bed and allowed her to decide their proximity.

Juliet moved slowly towards him and spread his arms so she could lay on his chest. As she closed her eyes, she snuggled into his body and hummed. Then she giggled a little.

"Hey, giggling isn't the reaction I was expecting!" Thomas grumped.

"I'm not giggling at you," Juliet stated lazily. "I'm just wondering which one of our friends has won the bet this week, and how much money they had riding on this result."

"We don't have to say anything," Thomas said quietly.

Juliet giggled again. "I think they might work it out very quickly, don't you?"

"Maybe, we did both keep secrets for a living, though."

"Mmmm," Juliet mumbled. "But I don't want to keep this a secret." She looked up at Thomas and kissed him, then she snuggled down again. She wasn't stupid enough to believe that all her fears had been erased, but they'd taken a major step forward tonight and she was looking forward to their relationship getting stronger. Sharing that with their friends, without any details, of course, would make the situation even more perfect.


End file.
